Run Baby, Run
by ThatDayDreamer-x
Summary: Leah Clearwater had it all. The loving boyfriend, the strong family, the best friend but one quick glance took it all away. Her world crashed around her and bit by bit she began to break until she does the only thing she can think of doing, left alone and pregnant she runs. But you can only run for so long until the truths of your past come calling. Rated M for language freedom.
1. Chapter 1

**For all my current followers and readers, this story will contain swearing, possible future scenes which is why it is rated M, more mature than my other stories in terms of language but it will still be as 'aww' worthy and possibly funny as my other stories so feel free to stick around. When I say swearing I simply mean F words not like hardcore constant swearing. Rate M simply for more freedom on language. **

**Had this idea annoying me for ages after listening to a Sheryl Crow song so thought I would give it a go...some aspects of original story will be changed nothing too dramatic. Give it a try I promise it will be good :D Most likely won't contain loads of dramtic vampire stuff I quite like the idea of a more normal love story for this one because Embry and Leah stories have me gripped at the moment and I think they would be a perfect couple! So give me a chance, hit the follow button and leave your thoughts, ideas, plot ideas, song requests to be used, is the baby a girl or boy? :D xx**

**I do not own Twilght.**

I stared out over the bonfire, the flames of the fire illuminating the face I knew so well, highlighting the beautiful way his eyes sparkled in the orange flickers, the swirling emotion in his eyes causing my heart to clench tighter than it already was. There was such love there, such adoration, such care and happiness but none of it was for me. It had been once, I had once been the only girl he could see, the only girl he loved but it all changed, he gave that look to her now, my own cousin, my best friend. And it killed. My heart was breaking, at least that's what it felt like, like it was being ripped to shreds with each twinkling glance he gave to the girl in his arms.

The loud buzz of conversation faded from my ears, all I could hear was the beating of my breaking heart that beat faster as my stomach churned with the sickness that had dominated my waking hours for the last few weeks. I stole a quick stare to my stomach that twisted and turned before shooting my glance back to the man that once ruled my world. He was still oblivious to my presence, as were most of the guys here but one person had noticed the girl stood by her car shaking with nerves and heart ache. The person who noticed me was the person who was causing the ache. My eyes landed on hers, the scars down her face slowly healing but still as aggressive as they had been the other week. I should feel bad for her, I should be hurt that my cousin I once loved with all my heart was hurt in such a way but I couldn't, all I felt was bitter pleasure, like it was some sort of karma for what she had done to me.

Her brown eyes sparkled against the flames but I saw the emotion there, the underlying guilt that was outweighed by the nerves and worry, she knew why I was here and she was terrified of it, terrified of the truth, of what would happen when he found out not only what was happening but that she knew, that she had known from the moment she chose him over me, from the moment she led him to leave me. I raised an eyebrow in silent challenging, daring her to say something but I knew she wouldn't, she wanted it to just go away, she wanted me to just go away because as long as she got her happy ending what did it matter what happened to me. Silly little Leah who everyone thought was a bitter bitch when in reality I was a heartbroken scared girl.

Sam finally noticed that his imprint was no longer laughing at his pathetic jokes and looked following her own stare, his emotion filled eyes dimmed as they caught mine and instead he frowned in confusion probably as to why I was stood over here because it was a pack bonfire and I was supposed to be right where they were but that wasn't going to happen. Not tonight, not ever again. As much as I wanted to be, I wasn't here to destroy everything, I wasn't here to get into yet another screaming match with him or any of the other guys, I was simply here to steal my last departing glance before I left.

Pushing myself up off the bonnet of my old car, the vehicle squeaking beneath my weight and strength, I took a glance at my pack brothers, their laughing faces not noticing me, their imprints happily tucked in their arms as Billy joked about old Quileute legends. One set of eyes caught mine, one set of genuinely concerned young eyes, they locked on mine as I stood over my opened door, he had no idea that this was the last time he would see me, or at least he shouldn't have but his eyes flashed with the deepest of emotions. For a second it overshadowed the pain in my heart, almost pleading with me to stay but the flash ended and instead of the desperate knowing there lay a distant sadness. I had to go and part of me thinks he knew that, because for some reason Embry Call always knew what I was thinking.

I tore my glance away and fell into the low down leather seat, my hands smoothing over the steering wheel of my dad's old Ford, he left it to me when he died although I wasn't a car girl and had barely drove it since getting it. My heart got heavier as I started the engine, my mind swirling with internal conflict of the decision I was making. After all I had family here, I had a life here, at least I had a sort of life here. I turned my head to the seat beside me, the white envelope containing the letter I had been given by panic stricken Emily only hours before still lay there. The letters contents much like the sobs she had given me, all full of shit, full of fucking empty words that she never meant. She couldn't mean it because what sort of loving cousin, what sort of sister like friend would do that?

No I couldn't stay here, I couldn't handle the heartbreak, the pain of seeing them every day, the pain of being pitied by every. I couldn't handle being the girl who was left by her fiancé for her cousin, especially not under current circumstances. I feared I was being selfish doing what I was doing but I had to do it, I couldn't stay here, I couldn't handle this. I smoothed my hand over my slowly swelling stomach, the flutter of love that grew there reiterating I was making the right decision. I span the car around in reverse, I was sure my screeching tyres brought attention to me but I didn't dare look back, that life was behind me. I was strong enough to do this, I didn't need him, I didn't need her, I didn't need them.

This is it. I pushed the memories from my head as I sped down the road, leaving Sam Uley behind, leaving Emily behind, even Embry and those stupid caring eyes.

"It's just you and me now buddy. I promise I won't let you down" I whispered against the silent dark night as I tore the old car onto the main road, my hand smoothing softly over the stomach where the only evidence that Sam Uley ever loved me lay.

**Leave a review! :D x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry I did upload a new chapter last night if you got an email about it but I then deleted it because I realised it was wrong. Sorry for that! Thank you for all the follows, faves, reviews I am really excited about this story because I love Embry stories. Also check out my Kim/Jared story called Don't let me fall it's going good but I need some more love on it :D Updates will get longer but I'm trying to figure out the next part so its perfect! xxx**

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I just drove. I didn't know how long for, or even where I was going I just went. My foot pressed down to the floor of my dad's old ford as I kept going, speeding through town after town, ignoring the buzzing of my cell phone on the seat next to me. I just couldn't answer it, I couldn't even look at it. I just couldn't do it.

I pulled over after 10 hours of driving into the car park of a dodgy little bar where the neon open sign was flickering on and off. It wasn't exactly where I thought I would end up, nor was it far enough away from the reigns of La Push but I needed a rest from the continuous driving that had began to ache my eyes.

My hands grabbed out to the seat next to me, clutching for my phone as it began buzzing again, the screen alight with Seth's mobile number. It stopped eventually and I flicked through text after text from my mom, my brother, Billy, Charlie, Jacob. Hell even Paul had rung and text asking where I was. I wouldn't let myself ring them back though. I wouldn't go back; I wouldn't be the girl who everyone pitied. I wouldn't be the pregnant girl who was left by herself to watch the guy she was supposed to be with marrying another woman, not just any other woman, my cousin, my best fucking friend. I couldn't do it. I wasn't the girl who broke down and cried over little things but this wasn't a little thing, since it had happened all I did was cry and I turned into such a bitter person it was physically tearing at me every moment I stayed in that place.

The buzzing in my hand started again this time it was Embry ringing me, my mind flashed to the eyes I had looked at hours before, the knowing look they held, the slight pained desperation they held as they realised why I was stood where I was stood just watching. I never spoke to Embry, he was a nice kid but I wasn't close to him he just had a strange way of being able to understand me. He was one of the first people there when I phased for the first time, right after Sam that is but he had been better than Sam had, Sam freaked out which caused me to freak out but Embry just sort of calmly talked me through how to phase back. He had been there when I found of that Sam and Emily were imprinted, most of the guys were and it had been awkward as hell, no one had said a word after I realised, they just stared at me before giving one another looks that ripped at me. I felt stupid, I felt alone and stupid, stupid for falling in love as hard as I had done with Sam fucking Uley but Embry followed me when I had ran away, he phased in with me but he stayed silent, offering no comment or even snide remark. He just waited while I tore up bushes and cried and screamed internally. I heard him sticking up for me, telling the guys to back off, I heard him telling them how I wasn't just a bitter little bitch I was a girl who had been hurt and was now being treated like shit by the people supposed to be her pack brothers. He was a nice kid but even he wasn't worth staying for, he was just a guy who wasn't as big as a douche as the rest of them. I wound the window down and threw the cell out of it, it landed in a well placed puddle and the buzzing quickly stopped.

I felt better for a split second as peace filled the car but the letter that lay next to me burned at me again, I grabbed that too and ripped it out of the envelope my eyes scanning over the words that were blotched from tear marks, I had already read it but I read it again, my heart hurting at the words.

**Leah, **

**My best friend, my cousin, my sister. **

**No words can tell you how sorry I am for everything that's happened. I never even in my worst moments wanted to hurt you but I know I have and I know I can never take it back. But I also know that I love Sam with everything I have. I'm being selfish, I'm being a selfish bitch Leah and I know it but I can't stop myself. I want you to be happy, I wanted you to be happy with Sam but things happen, things change. What can I say? What can I do? He's my soul mate Leah. I don't know what to do, I tried staying away, I promise you I tried but it hurts to. I hope one day you understand how it feels, how it hurts to stay away. **

**You said you wanted to leave, I don't want you to. I would do anything to keep you here. But I know why you feel that way, I know why you want to go and I would do I really would. What you told me the other day, it's confusing. I don't know what's going to happen but I know Sam would be there for you 100% and I wouldn't stop him. I really wouldn't. I would be there too. Everyone would Leah. You say you feel alone, you feel trapped here and I guess you are but we would be there for you. **

**No matter how you feel about me I still love you, I don't want you to leave, I don't want you to run away, I don't want you to go through this pregnancy alone. I want you to stay Leah. But if you need to go then go but don't go for long, come back home Leah, don't hide this, don't forget your family. I'll keep your secret, but don't burden yourself with it for so long that you get lost in the lies. We are your family Leah. **

**I love you no matter what Leah Clearwater. **

**Never forget what remains here for you. **

**Emily **

Behind the letter lay money, a few hundred dollars that she slipped to me when she came round for the last time. I caught her slipping the letter through the door and stopped her; she came in and saw my case packed and me ready to go, ready to run. She was on her way to the bonfire, she knew I was pregnant I had told her the day I found out and we had gotten into a fight about it even then but this time she didn't want to fight, this time she came to simply give me the letter but we did fight. We fought so badly. I told her she ruined everything, I just lost it and blamed her for everything that happened. I resented her, I resented Sam, I resented the wolf bullshit and everything that little town held. It had taken away the life I had planned out, the guy I loved so much it hurt me at times, she said she wanted me to find that love that she had but I had found it. I found it in Sam way before she did but that didn't stop her, she still took him just because some supernatural shit told her so. And for that I hated her. I told her she ruined it all, told her I hated her guts while she screamed at me for being selfish and bitter. She didn't understand though, she didn't know what it was like having this huge secret and having to look at the guy who caused it while he doted on her cousin. I was in pain every single god damned day because of the secret I held. She yelled at me that I was stupid for wanting to leave but I told her it was all her fault that I felt like I needed to run, I told her she was a home wrecking whore and so she told me to just go, that she would be happier if I left and so I dragged my case to my car with her following me telling me she was sorry but now as I looked at the wad of cash I think she knew. I think she knew all along that I would leave no matter what. I guess this was her way of helping me. A few hundred dollars in replacement for the man and life I should have had. Her cruel words just helped push me out the door.

I shoved the letter back in the glove compartment and the money with it. I didn't want her money. I wanted my life back.

I glanced back up through my window, tears stinging my eyes as I took once last look in my rear-view mirror before driving further away from that place, that life, them people. I had no idea where I was going but I wasn't staying there.

I flicked the radio on, my eyes shutting as the song I knew so well came on. Run baby run by Sheryl Crow, I snorted laughter as I sung over the lyrics in my head. I was running, I had nowhere to run but I was running and I wouldn't go back. Not ever.

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**Double update so hit the next button for chapter three and Leah's future :D xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors note: I have been so undecided over this and how to write this chapter but I think I am ok with it now, hopefully it's ok and I've written it ok :D Thanks for all the ideas and comments you gave me on whether the baby was boy or girl but I went with a boy in the end after days of confusion. Enjoy the chapter guys! You are all amazing :D xxx**

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I was once warned that the longer I lay hidden in my secrets the more they would consume me. At the time I thought nothing of it, I merely concentrated on the fact I needed to leave, in that moment I needed to leave and take my secret with me but as I lay alone in my double bed, staring up at the sun light streaming through my window I realised what those words had really meant.

It had been six years now, six years since I drove teary eyed from the place I had called home for 19 years, six years since I spoke to my mom, or my brother. Six years since I had phased, six years since I had lost the love of my life and nearly six years since I had my baby boy, Maddox Harry Uley, Max for short.

Over those six years it got harder and harder to turn back, there were plenty of times I wanted to but those times were pushed aside by the reality that it was all too late. I had left it too long to turn up with my son simply apologising for my secret and absence, I had left it too long to apologise to my family for the things I had missed in their lives while trying to hide in mine. I was at the point now where I couldn't even toy with the idea of returning, I was past the point of return and each day the gaping hole in my heart grew louder to ignore, I missed my family, my home, my life but I couldn't go back and so I got up and placed a smile on my face and tried hard to fill that gap with the existence of the life I led now.

I swung myself up from my bed, my fluffy sock covered feet shuffling against the tiled flooring of my one levelled two bedroom home that lay in Makakilo in Hawaii, the place I had lived for the six years I spent on the run from my real home. I came here after three weeks of driving aimlessly from crappy motel to another, no where I drove to felt right, I felt alone and unsafe in each town I stopped in. I toyed with the idea of Europe but that was even lonelier, then one day I checked my emails to find an old unread message from a childhood friend, we had once been so close we referred to one another as cousins, I guess we probably were in some way. Rebecca Black, she was a few years older than me but we had always been close as kids, she moved to Hawaii shortly after her mom died and she married a Samoan man named Solomon Finau. She was Jacob's older sister and Rachel's twin, I had never been that close with Rachel but Rebecca and I had gotten on real well.

I had emailed her back and explained my situation, she asked no more questions and arranged for me to fly out the very next day and I had never been off the island since. I lived with her and Solomon for my pregnancy and the first year afterwards, she had been there when I gave birth to him, she held me as I cried from the pain of not having my real family with me in that moment that was supposed to be filled with joy, she helped me find a job in a local Lawyers office as an assistant, she helped me buy my first apartment and a year later helped me move into the house I lived in now and she did the most typical best friend acts such as setting me up on numerous blind dates all of which were stupidly unsuccessful. She passed no judgment on me leaving La Push and she kept my secret even to her own family who she spoke to as often as possible, for months after I first arrived she participated in endless phone conversations with Rachel and Billy where they went on and on about my disappearance and not once did she let up I was here, nor had she said a word since. Being here wasn't like being home, it was home but it wasn't at the same time, the only thing that made it bearable was Rebecca and her little family that over the six years had grown to her, Solomon and two beautiful babies, Annabelle who was now 4 and Leo who was 11 months. They filled part of the void in my heart but they couldn't fill it completely because part of me and my life was still missing.

My stomach clenched as I made my way through to the kitchen, the sun shone brightly in through the wide window that hung above the sink and the white kitchen was illuminated so much it hurt my eyes. I had grown used to the weather over the years but it was October now and it was still warm and sunny most days, not that I could complain, I had once longed to escape the rainy days of La Push.

I rummaged around the cupboards pulling out two bowls, two spoons, two cups, the milk carton and the box of coco pops and placed them on the breakfast island that lay in the middle of my fairly decent sized kitchen. I turned to the doorway readying myself for the groaning and whining I was about to stir from the boy who didn't want to wake up but as I turned around the pyjama clad kid was already stood in the doorway, his hair poking up in all directions while one hand rubbed tiredly at his eyes and the other clutched the black wolf teddy in his hands. He had found it when he was two in a little store and instantly attached himself to it, I bought it for him and he hadn't gone a night without it since. It was his comforter which I found funny because it was a big black wolf and he called it his 'papa' wolf. His real dad, Sam Uley was a big black furred wolf and was technically when I left the 'papa' wolf of the pack. It was sort of strange he had latched himself on to it like he had.

"Morning booboo" I smiled and walked to him kneeling down in front of him as my hands took his waist and shook him from side to side trying to get a smile but I didn't get one, I just got a tired grumpy look that told me he was far from ready to wake up.

I took in the unimpressed look on his face, his face that was the perfect mixture of his parents. He was the same russet colour as Sam whereas I was a little lighter, his hair was once thick and curly falling just below his ears but he recently begged for me to cut it like he had seen some surfer down at the beach when he went with Solomon and so I caved, he now had short sides with a longer streak on top that he forced me to gel into a Mohawk each day, I had to admit it did look way cuter than the long curls. He also had these big round brown eyes that were identical to mine, at first it hurt having a mini Sam around me but I wouldn't change him for the world. His little lips were plump and full like mine and his cheeks chubby from the baby fat yet to drop, he had this little attitude about him that Rebecca said was me down to a T but he also had such a serious way about him, he was far older than his years, mature and thoughtful he thought every little thing through. Like at Christmas Solomon was taking him and Annabelle to get presents for me and Rebecca but he declared he didn't need to because he already got mine. Turns out he had already done my present; he had made me a little picture book of pictures he drew for me. It was cute and pretty damned good seeing as he was barely 5 at the time. His birthday being right before Christmas he had turned 5 only a couple weeks before. That side was Sam all over, so mature and independent.

"You want breakfast?" I asked again and received a lazy nod in answer so I stood up and walked to the stools knowing my grumpy little man was following me. He was definitely not a morning person which was from my side, I never liked mornings, still didn't to be fair but waking up to him made them better. I never thought of myself as maternal, never really wanted kids or played with the idea of having them but the minute I found out he was on his way I loved him. I wanted nothing but him and I would do anything to give him everything he needed. I suppose I failed at that from the get go because I took him from what he needed, I took him from his dad. But I shook myself off, trying not to think about that as I watched him pour his own cereal and milk, he was getting good at it to, he barely spilled any anymore.

I remembered the day I found out I was pregnant like it was yesterday. I had been phasing around a month, my first phase had been painful, so painful that I could barely stand up for hours afterwards. I remember why I phased, I had been so damned angry after seeing Sam and Emily together strolling hand in hand on the beach only a week after she had been attacked by a 'bear' that I now knew was actually Sam. I had gone home in a rage, got into it with my parents and I began shaking, my dad got this look on his face, like he was seeing a ghost and that's all it took. He had a heart attack so bad he couldn't recover, I knew instantly he was dying, I couldn't handle it and ran outside where I exploded into fur. Sam was already phased as was Embry, both of them were caught off guard but Embry said nothing whereas Sam began yelling at me like it was my fault, like I was ruining his life when it was me that had just lost my dad and turned into a freaking wolf. When my mom came out yelling after me about my dad Sam phased out to help them while Embry tried calming me down enough for me to phase back. I did eventually but by the time I reached the hospital he was gone and Seth had followed suit in phasing. I guess we were a short tempered family.

My pain during phasing had been worse than the other guys said theirs was. I figured it to be because I was a girl but each time I phased there was a horrible feeling in my stomach, like I was being ripped apart internally, like my body was begging me to stop. Again it was put down to my sex, my lack of periods were put down to my body freezing but after around 5 weeks of being a wolf I realised something was wrong, my period dates were missed longer than a month, I realised the feeling in my stomach was there when I was human but worse when I was a wolf and so I took a test to be safe. That little test tore everything down, not only had I lost Sam and my freedom, I was now pregnant, just another way I was tied to him. I freaked out for a few minutes, I nearly phased but I managed to stop myself knowing that each time I phased it hurt the baby and I loved the thing with all my heart before I even knew what it was or what was going to happen. I didn't phase again after that day, I ran to Emily and told her which I wasn't sure why I did it but I just had to. Then I left and now six years later I was wolf free, I had lost my wolf senses, I had stopped shaking with my anger, I no longer felt the pull to phase, I had lost my manly muscles and took on a more feminine body, I was slim but toned, though I had never been to a gym I figured it was from the wolf side, I sort of pinged back into shape after having Max. I was four months pregnant when I left La Push and on December 7th that same year I gave birth to Maddox in Hawaii with Rebecca at my side.

It was October now, he was 5 but was turning 6 in two months making me feel older than I should. I was only 24 but he was growing up so fast I actually felt older, I felt far too mature and responsible for my age. I bypassed the college years, the years I should have gone out drinking and having fun with boys I had stayed home preparing milk bottles and reading bedtime stories but I never resented it because it was what I wanted and chose from that minute the test showed the positive sign. He was just growing up to fast and the years were flying by so quickly that my opportunities to go home had been swallowed and squished. I had let my secret go on far too long to be able to go back and try to mend things. I knew I had acted selfishly but at the time all I felt was this need to escape, this need to leave before the bitterness that dwelled in my heart ate me up and the pain literally killed me. At the time it had been the right decision, sometimes it still felt like the right decision because if I had stayed then Max would have been in a broken family with parents who couldn't even look at each other and a mother who was driven crazy by betrayal and jealousy, this life had to be better than that one right?

"Momma I think I know what I want for my birthday" Max's little voice piped up over the scraping sound as his spoon slid across the china bottom of his bowl. I looked at him and smiled allowing him to carry on knowing whatever he said would be something a normal 6 year old would never want. For his 5th birthday he asked for a magnifying glass so he could inspect the ants in the garden, then for Christmas that same year he asked for the Harry Potter books so he could learn to be a wizard and fly. He was just crazy when it came to gift ideas.

"Well, I figured that it would be cool if I got a surf board, then I could be like Solomon and surf all day and get all the fine ladies" His eyebrows wiggled at me before he did an over exaggerated wink which made me burst out laughing. Ok so he was a hoot of a kid, I had to be the luckiest mom alive to get this kid.

"Go get ready for school Max" I giggled out as he winked at me again. I really had to start limiting his time with Solomon, he was a professional surfer and liked to think he was fine and got attention from the ladies but in reality although he was beefy and good looking he was never given the chance to get the ladies because Rebecca and the kids were at his side 24/7 and he was such a devoted family man he wouldn't look at another woman if they stood in front of him naked. I listened out as Max ran off down the hallway singing a song that I was sure Solomon had taught him, it was a heavy rock song so definitely wasn't from me.

The gaping hole in my heart that had hurt so badly this morning as I lay in bed closed ever so slightly as I giggled and smiled at my son, he helped heal me and helped me forget the mistakes I made because he was fine, he was doing just fine here with just us two and I had to believe that in some way I had made an ok decision.

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"Ok you guys sit there, dinner will be out in a minute" I reiterated to the two kids sat excitedly on the cream couch in my living room, their eyes set firmly on the DVD I had just popped in, it was Annabelle's night to chose and so much to Max's displeasure they were watching Snow white and the seven dwarfs but he seemed to quickly be getting into it, so much so that he didn't even nod at me as I spoke.

Little Leo was asleep in his bouncer, his bottle of milk drooping down his chest so I picked it up as I walked past and slipped back into the kitchen where Rebecca was pouring out two glasses of wine. It was Friday night, girl's night. Solomon was out with his friends and so we two sad, lonely moms got to spend the night in with a bottle of wine and a DVD, not to mention good old bitching and gossiping.

"So tell me what was wrong this time?" Rebecca asked with her voice peaking in curiosity as her eyebrows rose, I knew what she was on about instantly. I had gone on a date with a friend of Solomon's and after four dates I blew him off with a bullshit excuse that I had too much going on to be able to date. Eric, his name was Eric and he was a decent guy, he surfed with Solomon and he was from California, he had beach tanned skin, abs to die for and curly blonde hair but he wasn't right, I felt nothing for him just like I had felt nothing for the other men Rebecca had set up with over the years.

"He just didn't work out" I shrugged it off and sipped my wine but my answer wasn't pleasing Rebecca and I sighed out loud before slumping over on the counter waiting for her rant to hit me.

"He's wealthy and good looking, total marrying type Leah and you just blow him off before giving him a chance. Come on girl you could have been sitting on a ton of money if you just stuck it out with him" She groaned and I had to laugh at how materialistic she sounded. She wasn't in reality, she was anything but, she was happy in her little house that was just big enough to fit her little family and she was just as happy with her second hand car but for some reason when it came to me she turned into Millionaire Matchmaker and used me as her gold digging whore type, which I was anything but. I grew up in La Push for god sake, I wasn't reliant of wealth and material items I was uncomfortable in posh restaurants, give me a little run down diner any day.

"Becca, first off I am not looking to marrying anyone, secondly I don't give a damn how much money he has and thirdly...well his name was Eric" I scoffed a little knowing I sounded a little mean but Eric? Really? It just made me think of the squeaky little penguin out of Happy Feet two and every time the poor guy spoke I heard some little voice in my head saying 'fluffy don't float'.

Rebecca turned to give me an open mouth stare but there was amusement swimming in her brown eyes.

"His name? You're judging the guy on his name? Leah Clearwater you bitch" She ribbed me jokingly and I had to laugh at myself with her, I guess I was being mean, it was a fine name. But it did nothing for me, just like he did nothing for me. Everything about him was wrong. His hair wasn't dark enough, his skin wasn't the natural shade of russet tan that I so craved to see again, his eyes were blue when all I wanted were those swirling brown ones and he was cold. I mean he wasn't cold but he felt cold to me, when he held my hand nothing happened, his skin wasn't the heated flames I yearned for. He made me feel nothing, he was another guy who failed to fill that void in my life and I was certain that no amount of Rebecca's meddling would fill it. Especially not with anyone she found here, there was only one person that the gapped section of my heart belonged to and he wasn't here, nor would he ever be.

"Well I would seem less of a bitch if you stopped setting me up with people I have no interest in" I raised my own eyebrow back at her and she rolled her eyes at me.

"Don't worry, you go through them so fast that there are no men left in a ten mile radius of this place that haven't either been dumped by you or been warned off of your heartless ways" She was so sarcastic when she spoke sometimes, I just poked my tongue out at her and hopped off my stool.

"Like I said, stop setting me up with dead end guys. Actually stop setting me up full stop" I added in as I walked to check on the potatoes baking in the oven. She had become obsessed with finding me a guy since the day after Max turned one. It was constant; I would be at work on a Friday and suddenly become bombarded with texts telling me I was going on a date that night. It was a complete mess. No one ever made it past five dates and even then it was because she forced it to get that far. I hadn't even kissed another guy since Sam let alone slept with one and I knew that's what she wanted, she wanted to get me laid thinking it would make it all better but it wouldn't. I had only ever been with Sam and as much as I was getting over him slowly, every guy I even tried kissing was wrong, I would get close to them to feel repulsed by the chilly coldness of their skin, the lack of fire between us, the dullness of their eyes. Nothing was right because no one was right. I had the right guy and I lost him and now there was no one.

"Leah all I'm saying is you can't be alone forever, as much as you say your fine and you're happy with just you and Max at some point Max won't be here with you, then what?" She questioned me and I felt my wall come up blocking off the area of my heart still pining after La Push and everything I left behind because that area only brought pain and tears and I was trying not to shed either of those things.

"Then I get a couple cats and sit out on my porch stroking them all day long while sipping on lemon tea" I smirked at myself but Rebecca just sighed in irritation.

"You don't have a porch" Was all she commented, I could see a little grin on her lips though and I knew she had realised that once again she would get nowhere.

"Well when Max is all grown up he can build me one" I scooted off my seat and poked my tongue out at her and sat back in my seat next to her where her hand came barrelling down on mine and my eyes met hers to see the friendly look of concern and love.

"Seriously Leah, how long are you going to run away from that place? It's been six years of no contact with anyone, you've missed weddings, birthdays, god knows what Seth's doing these days. And Max, don't you think he deserves to know his family? His history? The kid doesn't even know he's Quileute" She stopped as she saw me turn back to her; I felt the colour drain from my face as she knocked the nail on the head with each word she spoke and tears stung at my eyes all over again. She was completely right but I was still selfish, I was still trapped in the lies and the pain, I was still feeling that fresh betrayal that almost destroyed the person I once was. I was hurt too badly by them people to let myself go back.

My eyes watered and I bit my lip as she looked at me and she jumped from her seat realising I was getting upset. "I didn't mean to make you cry honey" She cooed as she grabbed me into a hug against her chest, she was the same build and height as me. 5'7, I shrank after I stopped phasing, and we were both remarkably in good shape despite having kids. She was just like both her brother Jacob and sister Rachel, dark russet skin, big brown eyes and long straight raven black hair whereas I was a little lighter, my eyes were the dark brown and my hair black but mine was wavy not straight. We could get away with being sisters if we wanted to. I shook my head at her as she smothered me thinking she had made me upset but it wasn't even her. It was everything. It was the lies, the secrets, the gap in my life, the lies I told to Max about his dad when he had finally asked, the fact he was in love with this little black wolf he thought was just a wolf but I knew was a stupid weird way of the spirits taunting me over his real dad. Everything just sucked.

"He asked me the other day about his dad" My voice cracked as I got the words out, my eyes watering and stinging more as I remembered the moment Max walked in asking me why all his friends had a daddy but he didn't. I felt like a complete bitch, like I had taken him away from the man he was supposed to look up to simply because I was selfish. Rebecca looked at me, mouthing the word Max and I nodded. "He said his friend's daddy's picked them up from school and he was wondering where his daddy was. I got stuck and couldn't figure out an answer so I just sort of ignored him but he looked so sad"

"You should have said you don't have a daddy, you have a sperm donor" Rebecca commented before she could stop herself but it was exactly what I needed because I burst out laughing as did she. It sounded harsh because Sam never knew I was pregnant so I never gave him a chance to be anything else but Rebecca had a real chip on her shoulder when it came to Sam and me being pregnant, she thinks he could have at least tried to contact me even if he didn't know I was pregnant because let's face it, if your ex fiancé runs off because you chose her cousin instead then you should at least try to make sure she isn't dead in a ditch somewhere.

"What's a sperm donor?" A little voice broke through our giggles and I stopped instantly, turning to see Max stood in the doorway in his Spiderman pyjamas and clutching his Batman doll in one hand and wolf in the other. Damn it the boy was too good of a sneak sometimes.

I glanced to Rebecca for help but she was just as stumped for an answer. Sometimes I actually missed being a wolf, if I had still been phasing then I would have heard his little feet coming but no I freaking cut that shit so long ago that it was all gone.

"He's umm it's umm" I stumbled searching for anything but nothing was there. I looked to my best friend again, she was darting her eyes around the room trying to find something and they stopped on the superhero doll tucked in Max's arm and a satisfied smile lifted on her face.

"A super hero...it's a super hero like spider man only umm he's got the power of invisibility so he umm watches over you but he can't be here because he's out there saving people" Rachel quickly jumped in front of me rambling her shit excuse that any older kid would see right through but for a superhero obsessed nearly 6 year old it would do and his eyes widened while his mouth dropped open to screech the word cool and he ran back to tell Rebecca's daughter what he just apparently learned about his father.

"Gee thanks Rebecca now he's definitely going to go into school and scream that his dads a fucking invisible sperm donor" I whisper hissed at her as I watched Max run back to tell Annabelle what he had found out. This could never result in anything good.

"Like you would have said anything better" She hissed back and I knew she was right, I would have ended up drawing a diagram to explain what an actual sperm donor was. Trust me to have a kid that was too smart for his age and unbelievably good at sneaking about.

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**Leave a review :D thanks for all the amazing ones so far! :D xxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Quick replies – **

**I haven't got internet as I type this so I can't write in pennames etc but to the reader who asked if Embry imprinted on Leah its a no, it's not an imprint story as I thought I would try something different :D **

**To the reader who asked if Becca knows about the wolves , no she doesn't,. Leah has only given her a human version of what happened with sam, she hasn't said about the imprint etc just that sam left her for Emily. **

**I have a feeling there were other questions ... damn...ummm ask me anything and I will PM or reply via next chapters :D **

**Oh and before I get bombarded with messages about anything that doesn't add up to the real twilight story I have changed a few things. In my version Leah left after the Newborn fight and wasn't around for the Renesmee drama. I'm not sure what the SM version is on how Emily got scarred but obviously I did my version, some ages may be different too but I try to keep to real names and background stories :D So if anything differs then it's most likely on purpose. **

**I do not own Twilight. **

**Enjoy! And leave a review you amazing people xxx**

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The soft snores of Max travelled through the barely lit house as I sat in a ball on my sofa cuddled into a blanket and the TV flashed in silent images in front of me illuminating the room.

My hands were shuffling through the little box I kept secret under my bed, it was the only part of La Push I had left, I had made sure to grab it before I left and every now and then I would take a look. Today would have been my dad's birthday, but he was gone. I still loved him and missed him and so I did my annual ritual that I did on any loved ones birthday and sat comforting myself while looking through old memories.

My hands shook as my eyes washed over a picture of me and my dad at the beach, we were building sand castles, I was only little and in the back ground I could see Seth running around with my mom he was barely a toddler. A smile was slipping from my lips and tears stung at my eyes as my index finger brushed over the laughing face of each of my family members, faces I hadn't seen in so long. Every ounce of me longed to go back but I didn't have the strength, I once got as far as packing a suitcase to go home but I chickened out, I couldn't do it.

I let the picture drop to my lap and my hand found the next photo, this was a painful one, the fresh way it tore at my chest brought my tears slipping down my face. It was Sam and I, only weeks before he phased. He was holding me from behind, the memory of his touch was warm and loving and the smile on his face so familiar. I didn't love him, I just missed him, I missed the touch he gave me, the feeling he stirred from within. I was a kid when we were together, I thought it was real love, I thought we were invincible. Only weeks after that photo was taken I found out we weren't. Only months after that photo I realised that Sam wasn't the guy I thought he was, he wasn't loving, not to me anyway. He was horrible, selfish, and hateful of me. For a while I thought he felt guilty for what he did, when I was phased I could feel his hurt at my hurt, I knew he didn't like hurting me, at least I thought he didn't but then there was that day, the day my world truly crashed around me. I remembered it so well.

I had found out I was pregnant that morning, it was cold and raining, it mirrored my mood perfectly the way the thunder rolled overhead and the rain lashed down like the tears I was refusing to shed. I had run to Emily's house, I didn't know what else to do I needed someone. The memories washed over me and I shut my eyes letting myself slip back to that moment.

"_Emily" I yelled before I reached the front porch, my eyes scanning around for a sign of any of the wolfs but none were there, I could smell Sam faintly but he wasn't in the house. Only Emily's heart beat from inside and so I barged in without knocking. Emily's worried face appeared at the top of the stairs, her scars fresh and angry; Sam had done it only a few weeks before. Not long after I phased from what I was told Emily had freaked out about everything, she had known before I phased but she was having second thoughts, she felt bad about what she was doing and they got into an argument over everything. He got angry, phased and her pretty face was ruined. Although she was still beautiful. _

"_Leah the guys aren't here they are at the beach" She called out and the quiver in her voice was loud and obvious, I scared her. _

"_I need to speak to you" I lowered my voice, whispering as such and luckily she heard me because she edged her way down the stairs until she was on the bottom one looking down at me. _

"_What's happened? Is everyone ok?" She cocked her head to the side and again her voice shook with fear and anticipation of what I was doing here. She was so perfect, so loving of all the guys she had been adopted as pack mom. It made me sick how glorified she was when all I had been able to think about her was man stealing whore. I shook the anger away though knowing it would get me nowhere; I was here because of me not the pack but me. _

"_There fine. It's me. I umm, I just need someone to talk to. I need help" I hated admitting it, I hated that I had come crawling to her like this, she after all was the cause of my pain but she was the one person who knew me inside and out, she was responsible she would know what to do. As I said the words she stepped down from the stairs and walked toward me stopping short but close enough for her to feel the heat from my body because she became flushed from hotness in minutes. _

"_It's bad. I don't know what to do. What to say. Everything's bad enough without this adding to it" I began rambling as part of me quivered away from the words itching to break free from my throat. She cocked her head slightly and frowned in confusion, her hands were twitching and I knew she wanted to take hold of me but she stopped herself. _

"_You can tell me anything Leah" She said the words she always said, I once believed them, part of me still did but I tried not to. Even so I needed someone and she was older and wiser than me, she would know what to do. _

"_I don't know how it happened. Or when, I mean I know how but I phased, I shouldn't be but I am" I rambled again and Emily stood quietly just listening, not pushing or being too cautious she just listened and waited. _

"_It's going to cause problems Em. Everyone's going to be so mad at me. At him. I don't know" I stopped again right before the words reached my throat and Emily's body fell rigid, she knew I meant Sam and I could only imagine the scenarios running through her head right now. There was caution in her eyes, she wasn't sure what I was getting at but I guessed she thought I meant me and Sam had done something. I nearly laughed at the idea myself, it was ridiculous Sam hated me now. _

_I walked around her to the kitchen grabbing a glass and filling it with water before gulping it down._

"_What are you talking about Leah?" Emily finally spoke and I turned my head to see that she was still in the place I had left her, her body tense and on edge as she watched me with interest. "What happened? Did you?" _

_I really did have to laugh this time. Ridiculous, she actually thought I had done something, it was only what she deserved but no, not in a million years would Sam Uley ever look at me like that. "Come on Emily don't be stupid. It's worse than that Em. It's so much fucking worse. What am I going to do?" I said the last bit to myself, mumbling it in self question but as I said it my hand flew to my stomach, my thumb smoothing in circular motions that must have triggered something because Emily let out a gasp and her eyes darted to my stomach. _

_My rubbing stopped, I had blown that. Why had I even done that? I had been doing it all morning, I felt like when I touched my stomach that I could feel the life inside, feel the glimmer of hope growing within me and Emily seemed to notice it too because she paled so much I thought she would faint. _

"_You're not" She whispered as her body swung and she fell into a chair by the table her eyes still locked on my stomach. She knew. _

"_I'm pregnant" I whispered back but the whispers we spoke were being elevated around the kitchen as if they were being screamed and Emily's body fell into a slouch and I could see her eyes brim red. She was obviously worried about what it would mean for her and Sam. Selfish tears. _

"_But you're a wolf, can you? Are you sure?" She perked up after a few minutes but she was still red eyed. _

"_I didn't think I could but I am, I've done ten tests Em, I've tracked my period back to around four months ago which works out with when I was last with him. I didn't plan this" I felt the need to defend myself and she shook her head at me telling me she didn't think I had. _

_Her tears were forming now, her shoulders twitched in a building sob. "Oh god, this is bad Leah, what will happen?" She mumbled and my defensive streak twitched within me. _

"_Don't worry Emily, your safe I don't want him back" I did want him back but I was trying to be strong and show her I wouldn't let them hurt me even though they did hurt me, every single day. _

_She shook her head at me as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I'm not saying that Leah, but what will happen? I have felt like shit for so long, I can't do it to a baby, I can't, I felt bad enough for what I did to you but now your... Oh god Leah I am so sorry. Oh god I'm a horrible person. What are you going to do? You have to tell him" She stood up suddenly not giving me a chance to hear her words properly but I sprung toward her desperately. _

"_No don't tell him. I don't know what I'm doing, I can't tell him. I can't" I was begging, I felt pathetic but I had this overwhelming fear she would tell him. _

"_Well what will you do? You can't get rid of it Leah you just can't it's a part of you" _

_My stomach churned at the mention of abortion, my hand flew protectively to my stomach and a growl escaped my throat. The little thing inside me was mine, it was my little sparkle of hope, of life, there was no way I was getting rid of it. _

"_I'll help you, Sam will help you. Leah you're going to be ok." She cooed at me, stirring anger in me that I was trying to keep at bay, I wouldn't phase again. I knew why it hurt so bad, because it hurt him and I wouldn't do it anymore. _

"_No Emily, I'm not. I will never be ok. I am alone, I am hurt and to top it off I am fucking pregnant. I have to sit by and watch the man I loved so much be with you while I stand there pregnant and alone? I am anything but ok Emily" I didn't shout but I was sharp and mean. Tears streamed down her face and she was rocking with sobs all while I kept mine in, I barely cried these days, I was just angry. _

"_I am so sorry; if I could take it back I would Leah. Believe me when I say I am sorry. But we can do this together; we can be a family again. Please just let me help you. That's why you came here isn't it? We can make a plan, we can tell Sam together, we can do this together" She offered her hands to me but I just backed off and fell into the chair she had just raised from. _

"_What am I going to do? I can't be here" I knew it, I felt it, I felt trapped here. I didn't want this to be my reality, I didn't want to be here and the girl that was stupid and pregnant. _

"_You can't leave, this is your home we can do this, we can figure it all out" Emily whispered but I think she knew how I was feeling and my reasoning for what I said. Since the imprint happened I wanted to leave, I felt tied here because of the pack but right now I felt like I could leave if I wanted to. I felt like I needed to for the baby because this was a place that turned me into such a bitch. I couldn't be a mother when I was the way I was. _

_Minutes passed in silence, Emily stopped crying but her face was red and her eyes puffy, she didn't come closer to me we just stared at one another both of us trying to figure it out. It was the most confusion situation; I had all these mixed emotions and feelings. The only one I knew was that I loved this kid, I wanted this kid. _

"_What's going on?" A rough voice erupted from the doorway and I turned to see Sam, Jacob and Embry, all three of them shooting their looks between me and a tearful Emily. My head snapped to her and her eyes were still trained on mine; I tried giving her a signal, anything to tell her to lie. I wasn't ready for this, he couldn't know. _

"_We were just talking" Emily spoke through a hoarse voice and she turned her back on everyone in the room but that just made it worse because Sam went storming past me to where she was stood and she instantly shunned from his hold, squirming away which sent Sam into a glare at me. _

"_Let me guess what about" He snapped and Emily quickly shook her head at him and pulled on his arm. This was getting risky. _

"_Sam leave her alone, it's not like that we were talking and I got upset you know what I'm like" She tried to plead with him but it was a fight she would lose, there was anger and protection in his eyes as he thought I had upset her. I guess I had but for once it wasn't the way he figured I had. _

"_And I know what she's like" He spat out and Emily gasped, her hand dropping for her arm and she shuffled away from him her own eyes aflame with anger. At least she still had some loyalty to me. _

"_Sam" Jake warned from behind me and I stood up from where I was sat to walk away, I had been trying to do this lately, walk away from the fights because it got worse if I fought back but as I went a hand grabbed my upper arm and span me around. Sam was glaring down into my face, so much anger there, he had bottled it up but I guess the thought of me upsetting Emily was too much. _

"_Leah I have told you to stay away from her. Why can't you do what you're told?" He growled down and both my pack brothers were at my side in an instant pulling him off and shoving him back while Emily stood frozen behind him. _

"_Fuck you" I said it so simply it sounded pathetic but it felt amazing, I hadn't talked back to him before, I usually just took whatever he said and sulked to myself but right now I felt blazing. He stared at me for a second unsure of what to do while Jacob raised his eyebrows in amusement and Embry shuffled from side to side but both boys backed off knowing I could handle myself by this point. _

"_You know what Leah, I am so fucking done with this bullshit. I've put up with your bitching and you're moaning up till now because I felt like shit for what I did to you but don't come into my own house and make Emily cry. You've had your time to bitch about what happened now move on because it's getting boring and quite frankly no one fucking cares" He finished sharply, his flaming eyes dimmed and his mouth dropped as he realised he had just been way out of line. My heart felt like it was physically breaking, a lump grew in my throat and for a second I thought I would crumble but I stopped myself, as no one said a word I stopped myself from falling apart and took in his words. No one cares. No one cares. He was right, I knew it all along but I still carried on being a bitch. No one cared what happened to me, no one would care when I came out as being pregnant. _

"_Sam" Emily finally piped her, her voice small but firm and I blinked as I let myself come back to reality. Sam was staring at me while both his pack brothers stared at him in a mixture of shock and disgust and what he said. They weren't my pack brothers anymore, I was done with this, I was done with them and him, all this shit was too much. I wanted one thing, my baby, I was gone. I didn't want this life. _

"_You need to leave" Sam spoke softer this time but his words leaked at me with something more than a simple advisory warning. I needed to leave. I needed to leave this place, I couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't be that Leah anymore. I needed more; I deserved more, this baby deserved more than parents who hate each other. _

"_Sam" Emily spoke again and stepped forward but not to Sam to me. I glanced at her, my eyes fighting the tears I knew would make me weak. _

"_No it's fine. Thanks for your help but I think I know what to do now" My voice was quiet and her face paled even more as she took in my words and the look that was leaking from my eyes. She knew. She was smart, she knew what was I thinking and she went to walk for me but I turned and left before anyone could say another word. _

"_Leah don't please don't" She called out anyway and I ignored it, walking harder toward where my car was parked. "Sam you asshole. How dare you, you don't understand you utter asshole she wasn't upsetting me. Get off me, get away from me" I could hear Emily's shout inside, the bitterness in her voice was something I never thought I would hear her aiming at Sam but she was. It didn't make me feel good though. _

_I climbed into my car and glanced back to the house were Jacob was pulling Sam out as he shook with anger, Embry lingered at the bottom step, his eyes locking on me for a split second before he turned to run after his alpha. He wasn't looking at me like Sam did or the others, he was actually seeing me, his eyes giving me no pity just concern. _

_But I knew what I was doing, I was leaving and no amount of sudden love from my ex pack brothers would stop me, I had to leave, I was going to leave._

My eyes watered at the memories that washed through me, the picture in my hands burning at my flesh and I stood up and walked to the kitchen, my trembling hands turning on the gas cooker and holding the picture over the blue flames. It singed away, burning away at the pain I had hung on to for so long. I couldn't let it go even now but I would start, this picture would no longer serve as a reminder because Sam wasn't that guy, he hadn't been for so long, he was a dick to me in the end. He showed no love to me, he hated me and now I kind of hated him too. I wouldn't go back, the decision I had made those years ago was the right one.

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_**Leave a review! **_


	5. Chapter 5

**Replies – **

**Paullover23- Well I don't want to give too much away so read this chapter and your question will be answered ;) Thanks for reading!**

**Maddog12- Well, its an Embry Leah story and I don't like stories where they imprint on each other so I thought I would try an unimprint embry leah story because otherwise she would know before she left that he imprinted etc so hopefully it will work out hehe thank you for your amazing message :D **

**To everyone else thank you so much for reviewing and being so kind! I definitely love writing Embry stories I am addicted to writing this story already! And your amazing reviews make it all the more worth it :D xx**

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"Look momma look I caught a bug" Max's little voice sang out as his feet pattered against the tiled flooring into the living room where I was folding laundry into neat little piles. I was proud of how domesticated I was. When I lived with my mom she did everything, at 19 I hadn't a clue how to use a washing machine or even a oven but when I came here I just sort of learnt and now I felt like a domestic goddess. Well not quite that good but still pretty decent.

I looked up at my mud covered boy, he was shirtless, wearing just his superhero shorts as he waved a see through plastic container at me a huge grin on his face.

"That's good honey" I nodded but backed off making sure he didn't do what he did last time he caught a bug, he thought the lid was on it but it hadn't been and as he had thrust it at me it hopped out and onto my face. I had screamed for ten minutes after and had to shower to get the crawling feeling off me.

"Can I keep him?" His little eyes filled with so much hope I couldn't say no so instead I nodded causing an eruption of cheers from the little guy.

"But go put some grass in for him to eat and keep the lid on" I called out after him as he turned to spring back into our small back yard which no longer had much grass due to the constant digging for bugs my little boy did. He was obsessed with three things, his wolf, his superhero's and bugs.

I watched through the big French windows as he ran around the garden with the magnifying glass I bought him last year and searched for new bugs that he could trap and make friends with. He had friends at school, quite a few actually but he just liked bugs a lot and now had about 10 tubs in his bedroom of different species all with names he had thought up, the strangest name had to be Wafflecoffle, I wasn't even sure where he came up with it but he had done. I guess I should be thankful that he isn't one of those little kids obsessed with the TV and video games, a fair few of his friends were but he was an outdoor person, he loved exploring.

Grabbing the laundry I walked through the house plonking the right piles in both mine and Max's rooms before grabbing a pair of flip flops to team with the short denim shorts and baggy tank top I was wearing. It was a hot day, not the hottest but as I said it was supposed to be winter and the sun still shone so I tried not to complain. Max on the other hand hated living in Hawaii, he wanted snow on Christmas day and I had promised him we would go somewhere colder for a Christmas but when I tried thinking of that place the only place that popped to my head was La Push. La Push was snowy and wintery at Christmas, I wanted him to see that, I wanted him to see the snowy mountains overlooking the small town I grew up in as the misty air caught at your breath with that winter chill you just couldn't get here.

My heart hurt slightly but I grabbed my bag and car keys before hollering out to Max to put his shirt on, obviously the one he chose was a superhero one and as he ran out the front door after me I noticed he still had his magnifying glass in his hand and the tub with the bug that he now declared he was calling Spartacus which I just nodded to because even if I asked him why he would go into a rant about something I had no idea about. What went through boys heads was beyond me and so I often nodded and smiled at him as he rambled about a new action man or Spiderman toy.

We climbed in the car and I could see Max as he strapped himself into his booster seat behind me, his little face smiling up at me in self pride as he managed to do it on his first go and I winked at him to which he winked back but both eyelids shut in a childish version of the gesture.

"It was 99 cent son" Max screamed suddenly from the backseat as I drove down the road toward Rebecca's house and I jumped startled by his sudden outburst and turned to look at him. He was doing a sort of shuffle in his seat, his clenched fists out in front of him like he was trying to do a gangster dance. "Ahhh he got the Velcro" He hadn't noticed me looking at him yet as he lowered his little voice and sang along to the song that was playing, Macklemore Thrift shop.

He did a shoulder pop this time his head was swooping back and forth in time with the music and I let out the caught laughter before turning back to the road ahead of me. He was off his rocker, he was a happy little kid, never cried, never moaned, he was just happy. He sang and danced like he was on crack most of the time and could talk for America if given the chance. He was confident if anything and I had to be thankful for that because every mom wants a kid that's comfortable being themselves.

I just giggled and watched him in my mirror as I pulled to a stop outside the house and beeped my horn, he had gone on to dance and sing to the next song, and as Rebecca got in and strapped Annabelle in next to Max she stopped and stared at my 5 year old kid who was rapping word for word to the lyrics of Super bass by Nicki Minaj minus the swear words. She looked across at me, her eyebrow raised in amusement.

"I always wondered what you two get up to in that house all alone, now I know your raising the next Eminem" She laughed as she said it and I too had to laugh, I played music all the time in the house rather than the TV and I suppose it was this sort of music but he was always so engrossed in his toys I never thought he listened to what I listened to. Crazy kid.

"Well if I want that porch when I'm older I need Max to make some dollar" I called back to her and she laughed all over again while Annabelle took in the conversation and turned to snap her fingers at me.

"Dollar makes me holler" She called out and I grinned, Solomon taught her and Max to do that but she loved doing it. It was cute and hilarious. Both us moms laughed as the kids in the back delved into gossip about cartoon programmes and toys.

"So I have news for you" Rebecca dipped her voice as she strapped herself in beside me in my White Jeep that I got second hand off a colleague two years ago, it was oldish but it was good. I tried to look interested but there was that glimmer in my best friends eyes that told me it was another guy. "So I was at the beach yesterday watching Solomon surf and a guy walks up to me, starts hitting on me right, so I told him as nicely as possible that I was married and what not but then I thought he is so your type, tall, tanned, brooding eyes. So anyway, I gave him your number and he said he would call you. Am I a genius or what? He looks like he could be a total S-E-X god" She dipped her voice again and chose to spell the word out rather than say it which I was grateful for because Max picked up on anything you said.

My stomach tightened and my palms became sweaty against the leather of the steering wheel as my mind flashed through images, my type, dark and brooding. Not my type. I didn't have a type anymore, I had one but now every guy I saw reminded me of him, every guy I saw made me think of scenarios on what would happen when he up and left me. "Becca stop giving my number out it's never going to happen" I groaned causing my best friend to huff in annoyance.

"Oh my god Leah, it's not like I'm giving your address out to serial killers I'm just trying to bring happiness to your life"

"I am happy. Rebecca I am happy, it took me a while and now and then I feel crap again but I am happy. I have all that I need, I have my Max I don't need anyone else and I don't want anyone, I'm not ready for that yet. I don't feel comfortable with it and I'm just not ready" I tried not to raise my voice but she infuriated me, we had barely been together for five minutes and she was starting.

"You would be ready if you let it go already. You need to move on, let go of the hatred you have for Uley and just go and get laid. Leah it's been years, he's moved on so should you" She was being nice, her words sounded harsh but she never meant them like that she just knew me too well. She knew that although I didn't necessarily want Sam back that I still missed what I once had, that I wasn't over the betrayal and loss, that I regretted the things that happened back then. I couldn't move on though, I wasn't in love with Sam anymore, but I couldn't find love with anyone else because it felt wrong. I felt wrong, I wasn't worth it. Sam had shown me that I was nothing special, I could be replaced in the snap of a finger, I felt shit about myself when it came to the subject of dating. I couldn't trust others or myself not to fuck things up.

"Oh Rebecca just stop it" I snapped but stopped as an over exaggerated accent came from the back seat.

"Oh my god you are literally being so rude, you don't even understand" Max was putting on a over the top accent that sounded strangely like a Kardashians.

"I am so over it" Annabelle added in snapping her finger in attitude at the two of us who had turned to look at them both. They were doing impressions of the Kardashians. "So done" Annabelle added in before they both turned to look out of their windows as if they hadn't just done the most hilarious thing I had ever seen.

I wriggled back around in my seat and Rebecca did the same, neither of us said anything we just sat in silent amusement as what just happened sunk in. Our kids could be comedians they were hilarious, although most of what they did was because Solomon taught them it, they still made me laugh most days. How could I be unhappy when I had the cutest son in the world?

"Was that?" Becca asked and I nodded before she nodded defiantly. "We influence them too much" She added again and again I nodded. We watched the Kardashians religiously, it was our guilty pleasure and we often caught ourselves doing shit impressions of Kourtney and Kim, I guess we had rubbed off on the kids. I was seriously damaging my son with all my female tendencies.

* * *

I pushed my cart up the cereal aisle as Max reached out from where he was stood inside and grabbed the cereal he wanted from the shelves and threw it to his feet. I stopped him after he got four boxes though, the kid was obsessed with cereal but then again so was I, I always had a soft spot for some good comforting cereal.

I could hear Annabelle screeching in the other aisle and I had to be thankful that Solomon took Leo for the day, both of them together were a nightmare especially on our weekly grocery shops together, Leo just loved being held and Annabelle got jealous.

"Momma I want cookies" Max whined a little from where he was stood at the front of the car and I nodded but continued to grab my own box of granola cereal before wheeling from the aisle. As we turned the corner the end display was showing off these new superhero candy bars which caught Max's eye immediately and he leant over to grab one not even asking if he could have it. I think I spoilt him a lot, but he wasn't a brat so I guess it wasn't damaging him.

"NOOOOOOOOO I WANT COOKIES" Annabelle's screamed erupted in the aisle I turned in to and I could see her on the floor throwing a tantrum as Rebecca dramatically unloaded a pack of cookies back onto the shelf whilst giving her daughter a 'don't mess with me' look.

"Naughty girls don't get cookies Annabelle now stop it" She scolded but the wailing of the kid went on, Max popped his mouth open in a 'O' shape and slapped his hand to his mouth as he watched his friend throw the mother of all fits. Not his style, he rarely did this. "Leah can we swap kids?" Becca asked pushing her cart toward me and I shook my head while mouthing no. Her kid was a shit.

"You nearly done?" I asked as our carts fell next to one another and I tried to ignore the screeching behind us where Annabelle was still led, people were walking past us giving us dirty looks at the fact my kid was sat in the cart eating the candy he just took and Rebecca's was now kicking the shelf in anger.

"Yeah but there was this guy back there Leah, he was pretty good looking" Rebecca turned to point down the end of the aisle where a tall guy stood by himself holding a basket which was loaded with beer and pizza. I raised my eyebrows at my friend as she rooted in her bag for her phone which was buzzing.

"I am not getting into this again" I held my hand up and turned to the section where Max's teddy bear shaped cookies were that he liked. "I wish you would just stop Becca, it's getting boring having the same fight with you everyday" I glanced back at her and she had her phone to her ear, she mouthed the word voicemail to me so I carried on rooting around for my own chocolate cookies.

"You know it's kind of insulting that you think I need you to set me up, if I really wanted to date I could find someone. I mean there's Kaile from work, he's always liked me. If ever I felt ready to date it would be easy enough to find someone it's not like I'm hideous looking and need my best friend to set me up"

"Leah" Rebecca's voice was soft but I didn't look around I just grunted while fishing for my purse in my bag.

"I know, you think I'm lonely but I'm not, I mean sometimes I am but most of the time I am happy Bec"

"Leah" She more shouted this time and I turned to look at her, her face had paled dramatically and her big brown eyes were watering violently threatening to spill her tears and as I stepped toward her they did, streaks running down her cheeks as she dropped her phone to the floor by her feet.

"Oh my god what? What happened?" I rushed forward again taking her hands in mine and her lips trembled as they moved to speak.

"My dad" She said simply but even that simple sentence made my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach, oh shit. Billy.

* * *

How can one day change everything? Everything that you work so hard to build and maintain, in one phone call, one moment it all vanishes and you're put in a place where your wildest fears become reality. Where you're put in the position to finally have to face up to the selfish decisions and mistakes you once made. The pain you caused. The pain that you've tried to hide and fight off for years. Everything can change in just one day, one phone call, one moment. That day finally caught up with me. That day was today.

I quite often told myself over the last 6 years that I wasn't going back to La Push that I never would. But now I was sat on a cramped night flight to Seattle with Max curled up next to me and Rebecca sobbing on the other side and I realised I was going back. I was going back to the one place I promised myself I would never go. And I've never been more scared before in my whole life. I hadn't even been this scared the night I left, or the moment my water broke, or when Max didn't cry when he finally came out, or when he fell off a slide at the park and turned slightly blue. None of those moments topped this moment on the scared scale because right now I was on my way to a place that would bring all my secrets and lies crashing down around me.


	6. Chapter 6

**!****Important note PLEASE READ- Just a heads up that for the next 4 weeks I will be lowering to one update a week on my stories, the day most probably being a Friday or Saturday night. This is due to the fact I currently am studying Maths at College and although normally it is a night course that I take after work and so it's only one night a week my final exam for it is in four weeks time meaning I really need to focus on my grade and passing, so I hope you all understand and can be patient until I get through the exam period and then my updates will be back to normal. Thank you!**

**Thank you for all the reviews and support for this story! Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

I wasn't thinking when I agreed to this. My whole body had shook from the minute Solomon loaded my cases into the back of his car to the minute I passed through arrivals in Seattle. The drive from Seattle to this point had been worse than just the shakes. I had cried five times, been sick three times and at one point screamed at Solomon to turn back and take me to the airport again. It was only Max crawling onto my lap and telling me that everything would be ok because we were just going on vacation that got me to calm down. I had told him we were going away for a trip but not to my home town or to meet his family, I couldn't get the words out so I figured Rebecca would do it at some point but she didn't she was leaving it to me to say the words.

We had only made it to Forks but this was far enough, a pain was working its way up my body with each move we made closer to La Push and several times I felt like I would pass out. It was too much too soon, I never wanted to come back here, I didn't want to face it I was too much of a coward. I didn't want to see Emily and Sam married with beautiful babies everywhere I looked it was too painful.

Rebecca hadn't been much better on the flight or in the car but she had a reason unlike me who was just a coward. She had lost her dad; I knew how that felt and I had to say she was doing a lot better than I had. At first I wasn't coming with her, at first I tried saying I would watch the kids but Becca had a meltdown saying she needed me here and although I tried to protest I knew I had to, she had done so much for me over the years that if I were to deny her my support when she needed it then it would show just how selfish I was, that I hadn't changed from the old Leah at all. Besides there was the fact Billy was like an uncle to me, he had been there my whole life, he was there the weeks following my dad dying, and he supported me through the shit with Sam when my own father couldn't. I owed him my presence at his funeral.

We were going straight to Rebecca's childhood home and I knew what I would walk into, the whole pack sat around staring at me and then I would have to explain Max and it would end in a blow out between me and Sam. I could feel it brewing already, feel myself trying to build myself up for whatever would be launched at me. My mom would be worse; she would hate me for leaving like I had and taking her grandchild with me. Seth. Oh god I was going to be sick.

As if knowing what was about to happen Solomon slammed the car to a stop and I clambered over the kids car seats and stumbled to the wet floor beside the road and heaved but nothing came up. I couldn't do this.

"Leah" Becca knelt down next to me, her arm around my shoulder and I leant into her taking her offered hug. "I'm sorry you have to do this, but you can do this. Your strong, you can do this. You owe it to Max to do this, you've hidden for far too long, it's time" She whispered into my hair and I nodded slowly knowing she was right. I had known for a while I couldn't escape this forever, but it was harder than I thought actually doing it. Actually going back to the place that nearly destroyed me. She helped me to my feet and I climbed back in over a passed out Annabelle to where Max was waiting for me, his Batman figure clutched in his hands, his big brown eyes watching me with interest.

"Why are you so sad mommy? We are only going on vacation" He asked innocently as I wrapped my arm around him and he cuddled into my chest. Rebecca looked back at me a sad smile on her face and I took a big breath in before speaking.

"Actually, we are going to where Mommy grew up. You're going to meet your family Max. Mommy's just a little nervous" I looked down at the wide eyed boy in my arms as he watched me with interest.

"Not Hawaii?" He seemed confused and I knew why, I had never told him I wasn't from Hawaii so I guess he just thought I was.

"No boo bear, I grew up in La Push its right down this road. I left here when I had you, I moved to live with Rebecca and had you in Hawaii but this is your home too, you see your from a tribe known as Quileute's, a very small tribe and believe it or not we come from wolves, just like your teddy" I poked the wolf teddy that lay next to him and his mouth fell open in interest as he listened to me.

"Will I be a wolf when I grow up then?" He suddenly asked and I glanced nervously to Rebecca, she just laughed as if it were just a cute kid thing to say, she knew nothing about the wolves being real but I knew and I knew that due to the fact Max had a alpha wolf as a dad and a wolf as a mom he was definitely carrying the gene.

"If you want to be" I said simply, it wasn't exactly a lie, he would one day phase but if he didn't want to be one he didn't have to be, I was living proof that you could ignore it if you tried hard enough, he did an excited wiggle in his seat before looking out of the rain splashed window and letting up small howling noises. This was going to be a long trip.

The drive from Forks to La Push took less time than I remembered, whether it was Solomon speeding or the fact I desperately didn't want to get here I wasn't sure but it came too quickly and I found my eyes travelling over familiar houses and roads far too soon for my liking. Rebecca kept turning to give me supportive smiles but as the rented people carrier turned to drive up the dirt track to Billy's house my stomach dropped violently and my body covered in a cold sweat from my nerves, I felt clammy but I was shivering, I hated this. I hated all of it. My eyes scanned nervously over the red house I once knew so well, it hadn't changed a bit. There were a few cars out front but none of the trucks I knew to be the guys, although that was six years ago, cars changed.

"You ready?" Becca turned to ask me and I saw her fill with tears again, I nodded and tried to smile but I was anything but ready. Max hopped excitedly out of the car while I lowered myself out trying to prolong it but my feet eventually touched La Push ground again and my heart began hammering violently within me, my body felt like it was about to faint but Max grabbed a hold of my hand and kissed it, the gesture made me smile through the fear that was crunching within me.

"Let's go momma this place looks like it has lots of bugs" He looked around the yard and nodded in approval of the muddy areas, he was right I remember this place being overrun with bugs when I was little so he would love it.

"Leah" Rebecca called out from the other side of the car and I walked around, Solomon was holding a sleeping Leo in his arms while Annabelle kicked around next to Rebecca. I looked up at the house, I could see people inside, not particularly big people but people all the same. My stomach churned again and I nearly stumbled backwards but fell into Max who was stood behind me now, he looked up to offer me a cheeky grin and Rebecca called me again, the smile from my boy calmed me slightly and I found myself walking toward my friend as she walked up the three small steps toward her childhood home. I found myself feeling self conscious as I made it to the top step and looked down over my outfit; it was a good outfit I think. I was in black skinny jeans that were probably too tight to be appropriate but they made my ass look good and if I was facing my ex baby daddy I wanted to look somewhat presentable, I teamed it with a pair of ankle boots and an oversized white top, my leather jacket on top but I hadn't got it on so I was just in the oversized top that hung loosely off my right shoulder revealing the top of the tattoo I had when I was in the pack.

Rebecca led the way in through the door and Solomon followed while I stilled, I just listened as there was an eruption of greetings inside, mostly female but there was one low voice in there, it wasn't him though.

"Momma we gotta go in" Max pulled at my arm and I nodded shuffling through the door, as I did the chatter stopped and I looked up at the warm kitchen that smelled of cookies. My eyes ignored everyone but fell straight to my mom, her face was blank, just staring at me like she was seeing a ghost. Oh god, mom. I wanted to run for her but Max was stood in front of me leaning on my legs and I couldn't bring myself to move him.

"Leah" She finally breathed out and tears welled in her eyes as they did in mine, I had missed her. My mom. "Oh my god" She practically ran around the kitchen counter, pushing her way past the other people who I noticed to be Charlie, Rachel, Kim and Jacob, I didn't linger on them I just watched as my mom pushed her way to me and leaned in grabbing me in a death grip hug, I wrapped my one arm around her but was unable to give her a real hug because Max was clinging to my hand like his own life depended on it. We broke apart after a minute or so but she stayed close to me as she let tears fall down her cheek. "I missed you so much Leah, where were you? I tried to find you but I couldn't, oh god" She sobbed now and I wiped my own tears from my eyes, I was the same height as her now that my wolf side had faded and I shrunk.

"I was with Rebecca in Hawaii, I'm sorry I should have called or wrote. I just..I don't know" I couldn't explain it; I couldn't say it to her. I couldn't tell her I ran away to have a kid and escape his father. Not that I needed to because as I looked behind her at the others Rachel and Kim were smiling at me as was Charlie but Jacob was staring at Max, his mouth gaping open and his eyes wide as if he was realising something. I knew what he was realising, Max was a mini Sam. He had his own signature fluffy Mohawk hair style, it didn't go all the way over his hair just from the front to the top back, his short sides not completely shaved and still had little tufts of curls. But he still looked like Sam, nothing I did to his hair changed that.

"Becca I thought you only had two kids" Charlie was the first to break the silence and mom turned to look at Rebecca who glanced awkwardly at me waiting for me to say something but I offered not explanation. Everyone now looked down at Max and he turned to bury his head in my legs growing shy. Jacob was shuffling around from foot to foot his body jumping around like he was bursting to say something, he obviously had figured it out and I knew he wanted to run outside and phase, to fill Sam in but he didn't he just sort of bounced around behind Rachel, his arms began waving as if trying to get my attention but I kept my eyes anywhere but at him.

"I do" Was all Becca said but it was all that was needed because both Rachel and Kim slapped their hands to their mouths while my mom just snapped her head to me, her tears dried but she was in utter shock.

"Uhh meet Max" I smiled sheepishly shrugging my shoulders and Jacob let out a groan that resembled 'holy fuck' but I couldn't be completely sure. "Max this is my mommy, your grandma, say hi baby" I leant over my hair falling to cover Max's face from everyone and he peered up at me and nodded. Before I could lift myself back up Max pulled my hair apart as if it were a pair of curtains and simply squeaked a hello out before sinking back against my legs, turning his head from the audience.

"He gets shy" I offered and stood back up straight but everyone was still just staring in shock. This was going to take a lot of time and explaining.

* * *

It took me over an hour to explain it to the people here, Jacob was strangely quiet the whole time, only adding curse words here and there before his hands began vibrating. I knew he was busting to run out and tell Sam but he seemed to know it wasn't his place because he stuck himself on the sofa and talked with Solomon while I introduced Max to his grandma, Rachel and Kim. Charlie had wondered off to fix something in the garage but I could see he was awkward being in the whole tear fest taking place between all of the females here. Max was playing with Annabelle on the floor near where Solomon sat while Rebecca passed Leo around for cuddles.

They seemed ok, I mean no one had cursed me out for being selfish yet but I wasn't worried about Rachel and Kim, they were nice enough and they seemed to understand why I left in the first place. I had worried about my mom's reaction but she was too busy crying over the fact she now had a grandchild to worry about the fact I had kept it hidden all this time. What I was really worried about was the pack, most importantly Sam. None of them had arrived yet but I knew it wouldn't be long until someone other than Jake came by.

I stayed quiet just giving basic information to my mom about Max, what she needed to know to be able to start a bond with him, she loved hearing it all though, her eyes lit up when I mentioned his love for bugs. It was apparently something my dad had liked doing when he was younger and she reminded me that Seth always seemed obsessed with the things too. It was a Clearwater trait apparently.

Rachel, Rebecca and Jake left at one point, they only went down to their father's bedroom but they needed privacy to be together as three siblings for the first time since Rebecca left and since their dad died. He died of a heart attack, just like my dad had done. Being here surrounded by the grief that hung in the dull house hurt a lot, it took me back to the day mine was like this, the day the light and laughter from my family home died along with my dad. It hurt like hell and I had to keep catching myself to keep from crying.

Kim was keeping herself to herself, she was obviously pregnant although I hadn't noticed it at first but she was, it was a pretty big bump too, but not big enough to be far along. She cooed over Leo when she held him and her eyes lit up when she heard Max and Annabelle giggling at the TV that was playing spongebob.

"He's sweet Leah, how old is he? Like six I suppose?" She turned to speak and my cheeks flushed from her catching me staring at her. My mom was sat with Max and Annabelle, Max had clung onto her instantly and was currently telling her all about Batman as he watched the TV.

"Yeah he's six this December. With the risk of sounding rude if I'm wrong but you are pregnant right?" I asked hopping from the stool to get Max a drink. She grinned a huge grin before nodding at me.

"Yes but I'm only five months, it's twins which is why it's bigger than normal" She cooed again and lifted Leo back up from his car seat that rested on the counter top.

"Ooo well congratulations, it's the best thing in the world" I smiled again, my words were truthful but my stomach twisted in jealousy, she was picture perfect pregnant, she glowed and grinned, her wedding ring flashed on her left finger while when I was pregnant I had gone through it alone, I had been depressed and dazed through it all. I never got the happy smiles when people asked me I got the sad pitiful smiles at the fact I was at all my appointments alone. I guess I was bitter about it but it had been my fault so I had no one to blame.

"Leah" A gruff voice rang out behind me and my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach at the sound of it, for a split second I thought it was Sam and the cup I was holding for Max fell from my hold onto the tiled floor beneath me. It was Jacob. He was stood close behind me and before I could scoop to clean the mess up he was already doing it. He wiped up the juice and chucked the cup in the sink before looking back at me. "Can I talk to you?" He asked nicely but I could hear an underlying tone, I wasn't quite sure what it was but it reminded me so much of Sam, the way he spoke with control and order.

"Sure" I squeaked following him at a run as he walked down the hall toward his old bedroom and led me in, turning on me as he shut the door.

"I'm glad your back" Was the first thing he said, it was quick but genuine and I found myself cocking my head to the side in question. I had never been close with Jake so I didn't know why he had said that. "But you realise the shit this will cause?"

And there it was. The but, the big issue that my arrival here would make. The old angry flame erupted in my stomach, I hadn't felt it in years but it was here now, I could feel it growing but I bit it back down refusing to let that side of me take over. "I didn't plan to come back Jacob, I came back for Billy not for him, I don't want anything to do with him. I'm not staying." I bit back the hiss that wanted to take over, knowing that if I let myself get angry at Jacob then that old flame of anger would ignite again.

Jacob shook his head at me, his brows creased. "So what are you going to do? Introduce him to his son then take him away again? That will screw with Max's head as well as yours and Sam's" He was right but I didn't want to think about that, I wanted to get the funeral done with and leave.

"He doesn't need to know, I can say Max was the result of a one night stand with someone when I left" I started but even I knew it would work but Jacob let out an exasperated snort of laughter. I didn't even want to lie about that, I wasn't ashamed of having Max I wouldn't take him back for the world and I definitely didn't want to hide behind another lie about his conception, he was Sams not some drunken strangers and I didn't want to make it out like he was a mistake because although he wasn't planned he was anything but a mistake to my life.

"Leah the kid is a fucking tiny little Sam clone, I knew he was Sam's before anyone even clocked him being in the room, Sam will know his own kid when he sees him" He was nearly shouting not from anger but from stress, he seemed genuinely stressed about the situation at hand.

"I know but I'm here for the funeral that's it then I'm going home. I won't be a problem to them and their little family for long, I don't expect him to accept Max, I don't need anything from him" I spat out the bitterness eating its way through me once again. Jacobs face dropped a little before frowning at me.

"They never had kids" He said simply before turning and walking to his window his hand running through his short cropped hair. He really hadn't aged a minute since I last saw him, he just seemed bigger, more authoritive. My stomach dropped at his words, my hands shaking from an emotion I couldn't fathom.

They were imprinted, they were probably married, they should have kids surely. "What?"

"They don't have a 'little family', they tried but it hasn't worked, Max would be his only kid" He air quoted the little family part but his voice was deadly serious. I didn't quite know how to feel about that. Part of me was gleeful about it, was that wrong? I suppose it was wrong. I should be past the immature thoughts of their relationship but even as I felt bad that they couldn't have kids or whatever I sort of felt smug that she had stole my man thinking she would have the perfect life that was meant for me but she didn't get it. I suppose I was still bitter.

"Look you've missed a lot Leah, things are different now with the pack and relationships. And Max? Well it's a shock I will give you that, I thought you ran away just because of Sam and Emily but this is well...it's different. I'm sorry if I seemed off with you, I was just shocked. I am glad your home everyone missed you a hell of a lot, the pack didn't seem right without someone there to bitch us out. Everything will be ok, but I do think you need to go talk to Sam" Jacob hit my arm playfully as he joked about me missing from the pack, I laughed slightly at it but I had a hard time believing his words that I was missed. Everyone hated me back then and they were sure to hate me more when they met my little secret.

"I will when I get settled a bit, just give me a night to settle Max and then I'll talk to him but please don't tell him, I know it's hard with phasing"

"Not a problem anymore" He cut across me and I frowned at him again, what was that supposed to mean? "We don't hear each other, separate packs" He went on but I just got confused even more.

"Excuse me?"

He smirked a little and shrugged it off. "Like I said you missed a lot. There was some stuff with the Cullens and Bella" I snorted at that, it was hardly a surprise she still caused trouble after I left, the girl was a pain in the ass. Jake rolled his eyes at me but smiled anyway. "She got knocked up by Edward" I went to say something but he held his hand up to stop me. "Let me explain, she got pregnant, the Volturi got involved, I split from Sam's pack with Seth. There was a meet with all the leeches, I imprinted on Bella's baby her names Renesmee. Embry and Quil joined my pack while Sam kept Jared and Paul, and then there were Brady and Collin who were Seth's friends. A lot happened Leah, I can't explain it properly right now" He finished but my mind was buzzing unable to stop on any of the information he gave me. That made no sense. It did but it was just strange. "I think Max wants you" He said suddenly and I snapped my head to the door, I couldn't hear anything but then again I wouldn't be able to anyway.

I nodded and walked to the door but stopped to look back at Jacob. "I'm sorry about your dad Jake, he meant a lot to everyone"

He smiled at me but his eyes were sad, I knew the authoritive air he had to him now. He was Alpha wolf, it suited him, he was less arrogant than Sam was with it. His sad eyes twinkled with moisture for a second but he blinked it back. "Thank you for coming, you really didn't have to" I knew what he meant, I could have stayed away and none of this would happen, the impending shit that was coming over Max wouldn't happen if I had stayed in Hawaii.

"It was time" I said simply before walking through the door and down the hallway, Jacob followed me slowly and I heard him suddenly say my name as if in warning of something but I ignored him and I rounded onto the living room, my eyes darting straight to the door that was open but covered by a mass of semi naked bodies. I realised why Jake had called for me, my eyes locked on a pair I knew so damn well, the darkness of them flaming with shock, his tanned skin was paler than it should be and I had to turn my head upwards to look at him.

Sam Uley was stood in front of me, behind him stood the pack, all of them giving me the same stares but I couldn't turn from Sam, my stomach churned and I found myself wanting to stumble back but unable to, Jacob was behind me in an instant his warmth doing nothing to soothe the cold sweat my body was in. This was worse than I thought it would have been, the look Sam was giving me was like he had seen a ghost, anger was there too and I felt so small and guilty, I wanted to run away again, I wanted to turn and leave I couldn't handle this, I couldn't handle him.

I dropped my gaze from his and darted it around the room, Rebecca was stood cradling a crying Leo in her arms but she was ready to pounce to my side if needed while Rachel, Kim and my mom were silent in the kitchen just watching the scene unfold.

I made myself turn back to the guys I once knew so well and who I once cared little for, now their stares were hurting me, like each shocked look they sent my way was stabbing at my chest. One was the worst though, for some reason that one set of eyes made me want to run and explain everything to them. Embry Call, he was older, he hadn't aged physically but his eyes were older, he was mature, bigger built and just different. But his eyes still held that look, the concern, the care, it was so genuine it hurt and right now it was mixed with what I took to be relief and surprise, but it wasn't a bad look. It made my stomach twist. Embry had always had those eyes that bore into you; at least I thought he did. He met my own stare and for a second the surprise and open mouth gape he had disappeared, a small smile playing his lips but my attention got forced away.

The kitchen door burst open and a young girl ran in, I didn't need to be told who it was it was Claire she had been two when I last saw her and now she looked like a proper little girl, she was still short. She stopped by Kim and just looked at me like she couldn't figure out who I was.

"Claire get back here" Another female voice called out and this time my stomach churned violently making me actually sway from nausea. Emily. She ran in after her niece but stopped suddenly her eyes meeting mine and her skin paled as her hand flew to her mouth to stifle the surprised squeal she let out. She looked to Sam then back to me but didn't move, no one moved, everyone seemed frozen. Crap I need to leave, I couldn't handle this. Just looking at Emily made me want to crumble in tears, I wasn't strong, Becca was wrong I couldn't do this.

"Leah" A young voice offered and Seth pushed his way through the pack guys and in front of Sam, I looked up at him as I did tears stung at my eyes, my little brother wasn't little anymore, he was twice as big as he had been when I left. He was a man. "You're home"

Before I could say a word a patter of little feet erupted followed by yells. Oh god no. My stomach twisted as I heard Max and Annabelle running up toward the house. I wasn't ready for this. Please god.

"Would you two just listen to me for once?" Solomon yelled but he was distant, the feet sound was closer than he was and I knew it was inevitable that it was going to happen right here in front of everyone.

"MOMMY SHE STOLE MY BATMAN TOY" Max yelled out and pushed his way past Emily nearly knocking her over from the fact she wasn't exactly in a stable condition. I looked over his little appearance, his hair still in the messy Mohawk style while his clothes, dark jeans, mud covered Timberlands and a green and dark blue checked thick shirt that was open to show his favourite white t-shirt that had the words 'surf dude' written on it, it was the only clothes he had that was suitable for La Push weather, I had to say he looked like a little rocker kid.

He wasn't looking at me, he looked at Rebecca and part of me wanted him to keep doing it, for him to somehow realise he needed to make out Rebecca was his mom but all he did was stick out his tongue at her and run for me. "Momma" He whined as he reached my legs.

Crap. That was that then. I looked up from him, Emily at this point looked ready to faint although why she was so shocked was beyond me because she knew I was pregnant when I left did she expect the pregnancy to last forever or for me to not have a kid at the end of it?. I fluttered to the group of guys, most of their mouths were hanging open, their eyes giving away that their brains were working overtime trying to piece to together the age of the mini Sam at my legs. Embry actually looked ready to pass out not even a shadow of his smile lay on his face, Paul fell into an amused smirk, he loved trouble, he thrived off other peoples troubles while Jared turned to look at Kim and seemed to mouth something to her.

Sam was the worst though, his hands began shaking, his whole body followed suit and before anyone could say anything he turned and forced his way out of the house, leaving behind nothing but the echo of his growl.

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**She's home! Hope you all enjoyed it. I actually got really stuck writing this chapter haha its so hard when you know how you want a chapter to end but can't figure out how to fill it haha :D Anyway leave a review!xxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for your patience while I study :D xxx**

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I didn't know what else I expected but I guess that wasn't it. It hurt like hell, a lot more than I ever thought it would. My secret was out, the judgemental looks had followed Sam's exit and Emily had quickly excused herself to throw up in the bathroom. It fucking hurt, it sucked, my heart felt like it was breaking all over again, I was that 19 year old girl that was scared shitless again, I was jealous of the people stood in that front room, the way they all interacted so easily, they were family, as close as the day I left except I was no longer in it, I was alone and my mind was playing with me. I couldn't even comfort Max when he started getting upset over the big men surrounding him I just walked out, I guess I was good at doing that in this place, I left back then and all I wanted to do right now was leave again.

The wind whipped around me and I shivered, I wasn't used to this weather, I was dressed in only my skinny jeans and a short sleeved top, I was freezing. I wanted to go home, home to Hawaii not here. This place was cold and empty to me now.

"Leah" Rebecca's familiar voice travelled over the wind, I didn't bother to look behind me to her I just waited until she placed herself beside me on the old bench that lay in Billy's front yard. She nudged into me with her shoulder and offered me a small smile.

"So I would say that went well" She piped up after a few minutes of neither of us saying anything. I looked at her and she had her signature smirk on her face which made mine lift instantly. We both started chuckling although I had no idea why, I just felt like laughing.

"I don't even know what I expected him to do but he looked so..." I stopped unable to find a word that suited the look on Sam's face as he left.

"Mind fucked" Rebecca offered which only made me giggle more until I realised she was closer to explaining his expression than I had been. He did I suppose, he looked confused, hurt, angry, he just looked pissed yet so confused like his mind was fucking him over.

"Eurgh why I did let you talk me into coming here, it was never going to be a fun trip and now Max is bawling his eyes out because he's scared of them and I just feel like a bitch I just want to go home" I moaned and buried my head into my hands while Rebecca's hand came up to smooth over the hair that fell down my back, I let it grow out, I hated when being a wolf made me have short hair I felt like cutting it off was one more stab at me and so I hadn't cut it since, it now fell to the bottom of my back and I loved it being this long and loosely curled.

"Well, first off, it could really have been so much worse, secondly you aren't a bitch for what you did, I think you did what you need to do for you and that's all you have to tell Uley and thirdly, Max doesn't seem so scared to me" I stayed bent over until she mentioned Max then I shot up and followed her gaze to the side of the house where he was currently riding on Embry's back down the wheelchair slope. He had his goofy grin on his face while kicking into Embry's side and saying 'giddy up horsey'. Ok so maybe he wasn't scared. Annabelle ran behind them reaching out for her own go while my mom followed with Leo in her arms.

"He doesn't like the others but he seemed to take to Embry and Seth pretty quickly" Rebecca offered me an explanation and grinned at me. Well Embry and Seth both had kind faces so I couldn't blame him.

"Well I still want to go home, I can't stand being here, being around these people. It hurts." I whispered, my voice croaky as I forced out the words, I didn't want to be here though I felt like I was being suffocated.

"Look Leah, we are here now, it's out in the open and everyone knows. I think maybe you should offer some explanations"

I turned back to my best friend and shook my head. "I don't owe them explanations, maybe I should tell Sam but I don't owe him anything, he was the reason I left, he told me to leave" I felt myself getting angrier as the seconds went by and the old familiar prickles ran up my neck. This place was driving me crazy.

"But he didn't know you were pregnant" She spoke quieter this time as if trying not to let me hear but I did and it pissed me off.

"Ok so whose side are you on Becca? I left because I had to, I couldn't be here anymore damn it Becca. I should never have come back" I went to stand up but she caught my wrist and pulled me back down.

"I am on your side Leah, it's just that you can't just have Max here and not explain things to people. You don't owe Sam anything but I think Max deserves to know his father" She gave me that look, the look that read she was right and I had no option but to agree with her. This wasn't just about Sam and I anymore it was about Max, the little boy who always wondered so much about his dad. I owed it to him to stay and at least try sort things out with Sam.

"Fine. Your right, you're always right" I sighed and stood up wriggling my hips a bit to get my jeans to resettle themselves. Becca stood up at winked at me.

"And don't you forget it, now we need to figure out sleeping arrangements" She started walking back to the house and my eyes fell on the kids who had been joined by Seth and a little kid I didn't recognise, a boy, he was probably three at most and obviously Quileute, he was hanging onto Embry's leg while Embry bent over Max who was holding something in his palm and chatting away like his earlier tears over these huge men had never happened.

"What do you mean?" I glanced at Rebecca unsure of what she meant; I hadn't thought about where we would be sleeping I figured I would just go home.

"Well, this place has three rooms. Jake is here in his, the kids will be in my dad's old room and Solomon and I in mine and Rachel's old room. So what are you and Max gonna do?"

I just stared at her like it was obvious. "My moms?"

She gave me a funny look like I was being an ass, what was her problem? I would go home?

"Your mom lives with Charlie now" She offered but it gave me no answer, I figured as much but why that was an issue I had no idea. "She lives in Forks Leah, Jesus I know you haven't spoke to her but do you not listen to me when I tell you things?" She sighed now and my brain started working to remember her ever telling me that but I was sure she hadn't.

"She lives in Charlie's old house; Seth is there too so there is no room for you there" She mumbled like it was just another bit of information I should know but it actually annoyed me. So the house my dad built was empty? He spent so long getting that house perfect and she just leaves as soon as he dies? I shouldn't have come back, this hurt too damn much.

"And you're sure she's your mom?" Seth's young voice hit me and I peered back to where he was sat with Max and Embry. Max nodded and chuckled his cute little laugh.

"I know, I'm way cooler than her, she got lucky I guess" His own cute little voice came out and everyone around him started laughing, even I chuckled despite being angry with my mom who glanced innocently at me now as if she hadn't done the worse thing in the world whilst I was gone. "One time I caught some huge spiders and they accidently landed on her and she made me squirt the hose on her to make sure it got off, our neighbours thought she had too much special juice cause she was flapping around the grass like this" He hopped up and started waving his hands around and shaking his hips exactly as I had done the day he dropped the spiders on me. Everyone started laughing again and Annabelle stood up to join in with Max doing this weird dance, the kid attached to Embry just sort of watched them like they were crazy.

"Special juice?" Embry asked now his eyes flashing from the kids to mine, his stare was something else. He had the most beautiful eyes, always had done I suppose. His smile lifted again as he waited for me to tell him but before I could Max came running back to him to give his own explanation.

"Yaaa momma and Aunty Becca have special juice that we can't have. It makes them go CRAZY and they dance around and giggle and then they watch the Kardashians and go on and on about how they want to have Kim's bootay" Becca slapped her hand over his mouth before he could go on but her own daughter stepped up to give us away even more. The way he said booty made me laugh though, he over pronounced an A at the end and prolonged it so it was like bootaaaay. I loved him, he was just the best kid.

"The special juice isn't really juice it's wine" Annabelle happily chirped and Becca slapped her other hand over her own daughter's mouth stopping them from saying anything else. My mom by this point was nearly crying laughing.

"Ok so now our kids are done making us out to be crazed alcoholics" Becca started before kicking both Max and Annabelle lightly and they ran off giggling at how they had told everyone about our Friday nights. "We need to find you somewhere to stay" She added and turned to look at me her cheeks still pink from the kids embarrassing story. We sounded like losers, sitting at home watching trashy TV with our kids.

"You can stay at mine" Embry offered far too quickly for it to sound remotely normal. He sounded sort of desperate. I looked back at him, his eyes were already on me and he had that smile on his lips again, too kind for any normal person.

"Oh really that would be good" Rebecca started but I shook my head.

"No no we can just grab a motel room" I intervened, I couldn't stay with Embry it would be awkward. Both Seth and Embry frowned at me like I was stupid.

"Oh yeah because there is no many motels around here" Seth offered in his brotherly sarcastic tone that I had actually missed, my body nearly jerked forward to grab my little brother into a hug but I stayed still. He was right, there were no motels here. Crap.

"I can't, I mean you don't have to. Max is messy and we'll just take up loads of space. Your mom doesn't want us there" I let out excuse after excuse until my mom one made Embry snort with laughter.

"I don't live with my mom. I'm 23 Leah not 17. Honestly, I have room. Jake lives with me normally and he's here for now so there's room and I'm sure if I can deal with Jake's mess I can deal with a shrimpy kids" He knocked off all my excuses so easily and genuinely that I couldn't find anything to come back with. 23, two years younger than me, he looked older though, he acted older. He was definitely not the 17 year old I remembered.

"See its fine Leah" Rebecca pushed and my eyes fell to my mom to just smiled nicely before walking off after the two kids who were now trying to squeeze their way into Jake's old garage.

"But" I started but Rebecca shot me her stern looking shutting me up instantly and marched her way around us all and into the house.

The three of us just stood there as she left, staring at one another while the little boy stayed clinging to Embry. I glanced down at him then back to Embry, there was no resemblance but I guess he was Embrys. The thought hit me in the gut a little, a hot emotion in the pit of my stomach at the idea Embry had a family. Jealous? I wasn't jealous, I had nothing to do with Embry. I shook the feeling away.

"So will you girlfriend not mind?" I asked and looked at Embry waiting for the sparkle in his eyes the others got from their imprints but there was none, he just looked at me.

"I don't have a girlfriend" He stated simply and Seth bent over to pick the kid up as he started whining. My eyes darted between the boy and Embry, there was no resemblance. "Oh...this is Paul and Rachel's little boy, Flynn" He offered obviously realising what my brain was thinking, my stomach flipped slightly as if the news it wasn't Embry's kid was good news. This place was definitely messing with my head. "I know it's an awful name, god knows where they got it from" He went on and I had to agree, I mean Maddox was a strange name but Flynn sounded stranger, like it was being pronounced wrong.

I nodded and turned to look at my own kid, he had successfully got into the garage and my mom was trying to pull him back out. He was a little rascal, he loved exploring new places.

"How long are you staying for?" Seth asked as we all began walking toward the garage and I shrugged, I had no idea.

"The funeral, then maybe a few days after, not long because I have work and Max has school" I went on and both men nodded but both looked sad.

"Well I'm glad your home. I'm going to go help Solomon put your bags into Embry's truck, I missed you sis" He leaned down and kissed me cheek before bouncing off to where Solomon was unloading the hire car and Rebecca was throwing my bags into the back of a fairly new truck.

"You stopped phasing" I turned my head to look at Embry Call's smiling face, my heart skipped into a lifted position before hammering back down, he was quite beautiful. He had changed a lot but yet he stayed the same, his eyes they were still kind and genuine. He came to a halt beside me, looking expectantly at me like I was supposed to say something then I realised he had made the statement on my phasing.

"Oh yeah, when I left" My voice was thick, it almost hurt to let it out and his bright eyes dimmed at my words. When I left. Crap I wish I had stayed away, this was hard, even speaking to Embry Call a kid I once never cared much for it hurt.

"How?"

I jerked my head back in surprise at his question, was it not obvious? "I got in my car and drove, then I got a plane to Hawaii. It's really not that hard" I was genuinely confused, was he that stupid?

He started chuckling and shook his head at me. "No I mean how did you stop phasing" He was still chuckling but even his elaboration offered me no help to my confusion, it wasn't that hard to stop phasing. "It's just that they all tried. Sam tried for a while he cut back but then bam his wolf reared up again, then Jared tried he was successful until Kim found out she was pregnant and he got so excited he sort of popped back into his wolf, and Paul well Paul can't last a day" We stopped walking now as my mom managed to get Max out and sent him marching back toward us.

I snorted at the comment about Paul, Paul had no chance he was a freaking lunatic with major anger issues. "It's not that hard. Well it wasn't for me, Paul may have some trouble though if he's still as short fused as I remember him to be" I glanced at Embry and he nodded, his eyes alight with amusement over his aggressive brother. Paul hadn't changed, I could see that before I came out here, he was loving the drama that was going on and as I left I saw Rachel smack him around the head before he could make a sound. He was still the same Paul, I guess they were all the same. Jared had been dumb enough to not piece it together until Kim mouthed it to him that Max was Sam's, Jake had been caring in his own way, Seth was just as happy as he had been when I left and Embry was his usual over caring self and had followed me out here. I should have expected it really, he had always been the one to follow me when I was upset, he would never speak much but he would just make sure I wasn't contemplating jumping off a cliff and then he would leave again.

"I just sort of stopped I guess, I knew I had to because if I didn't then I would hurt Max, I was pregnant so I figured exploding on a daily basis wasn't on the list of healthy things to do. I loved him more that my body needed to be a wolf" Why I was telling him this I had no idea but he had one of those faces that just calmed you down and made everything slip out. He stayed silent for a minute, his head just bobbing in small nods while his eyes scanned over the yard in front of us, this felt awkward. I shouldn't be here, I just wanted to grab Max and go.

"He seems like a nice kid" I glanced over at him frowning at his comment. "Max" He offered and I nodded, a smile playing my lips at the simple mention of my boys name. "He's sweet" He said again and I nodded at him, he hadn't said a word to them so I suppose he looked like a well behaved kid. We both turned to see Max shuffling toward us, his magnifying glass in hand like it always was.

"He's real shy, he doesn't like new people and you're all so big. He's good though, easiest kid in the world" There my mouth goes again, I didn't feel like I wanted to talk like this to anyone here let alone Embry, I barely knew him so why I was letting slip the details of my life so freely was beyond me. I was Leah Clearwater, I should be biting his head off for coming after me but no matter how much this place stirred old feelings I guess I couldn't find it in myself to be cruel like I once had been.

"He seemed to like me enough. I guess I'm just not as ugly and scary looking as the others" Embry chuckled and everything in me had the urge to agree, he was nowhere near ugly but I knew I was letting myself get far to infatuated with his looks.

The sound of doors opening and people talking came from behind us and I turned to see the pack boys filing back out of the house, each of them stopped to look across at me and I felt watched again, judged. Paul and Rachel stayed by the front door to the house while Kim and Jared began walking down the long driveway to where an old truck was parked. Jared looked back at me, his face frowned in confusion and Kim smacked him to get him to stop staring. Two boys that at first I didn't recognise ran into the trees, it took me a minute but I put their faces to two little brats Seth used to be friends with.

"Brady and Collin, phased after you left" Embry offered me and I nodded, they were familiar to me now. Jake, Paul and Rachel went back inside followed by Solomon and Rebecca while Seth ran off after his friends and Jared and Kim drove away, the door opened again though and Claire came out followed by Quil and Emily. Emily still looked pale, like she would pass out any second and as she hopped down the stairs and toward her car she stopped, her head turned so she was looking at me our eyes locked.

Even from afar I could see the look she held, guilt, anger, sympathy, love, hatred, everything, she looked just like Sam had but she looked guilty whereas Sam hadn't. I couldn't figure out how I felt, I just watched as she stumbled to the car and climbed in the passenger seat while Quil drove. I waited until I could no longer see her car before turning back to Max who as now at my legs.

"That woman said we were staying at Embry's, are we momma?" His eyes were wide with hope and my heart melted, he liked Embry obviously.I looked at my mom as she walked back to the house and smiled.

"That woman is your grandma Max and yes I think we are" I didn't want to stay at his, I felt awkward, like I shouldn't be so close when he made me feel so relaxed. Max started skipping back to the big black truck it was newish, the paint shiny, we walked closer and the words GMC were on the front grill, a GMC Sierra thingy, I knew little about cars but I think I knew this one.

"Nice car" I commented and Embry smiled and nodded.

"Yeah the guys are all jealous" He was obviously proud of it and I would be to, this thing was just over a year old, La Push never had new cars. We changed direction toward the house so I could say goodbye.

"I bet, how did you get that?" I internally slapped myself, I sounded rude. "I don't mean, I just. Well, this is La Push and that's...not" Ok I sounded like a snob. Damn it. I picked up my pace walking but Embry just followed chuckling at my lame stuttering words as I tried to resolve my rudeness.

"It's fine, I know what you mean. I got some stick for it when I got it but I worked for it. My mom moved back to the Makah res, left me some money to start my business, I do like home maintenance, plumbing, building, everything I guess. I do it here, Forks, sometimes further out if the moneys good, Seth works for me too. I guess I just did good, I'm not like earning mega bucks but I got a good deal on this thing and I barely pay anything for the house so" He just shrugged it off, I had to say I never expected him to own his own business, he was still fairly young.

"Sounds like you're doing good" I smiled at him before going into the house, he said nothing just followed and everyone inside grinned at me as I walked in but it was the grin that told me they had been talking about me only seconds before. My cheeks flushed with colour but I shook it off, I had to expect they would talk. I knew they would and so I smiled and said goodbye before grabbing my bag and Max's toys.

"You're staying at Embry's honey?" My mom asked and I nodded by heard Paul snigger something about Sam and not being happy. I could have hit him, not everything in my life revolved around Sam but before I could do anything Charlie hit him across the head for me.

"I guess so, now that you live in Forks I have nowhere else" I didn't mean to sound quite so bitter but my mom's smile faded anyway, this had to be the most awkward day of my entire life. I had no idea how to act and now I just was being rude to everyone.

"Well I think you'll be right at home there" Rachel said quickly and grinned, but her smile was like she knew something I didn't.

"I guess I'll see you all tomorrow" I said ignoring Rachel's smile and before I could say anything else to offend anyone I turned to leave.

"I'll call you with plans" Rebecca called out and I nodded but I caught the smirking wink she gave me, her eyes flashing between Embry and I. It didn't take me long to realise what her expression meant, she was already getting her match maker head on. Hell no. Not happening, Embry is a kid compared to me and completely off limits, he's one of Sam's pack, not going there.

"Bye" I said again shooting her my own don't you dare look before actually leaving, Max was hopping around the truck and Embry clicked it open before taking the things in my arms from me and putting them in the open back boot area. I put Max in the back before heaving myself up into the front, it took a bit of effort I have to say.

"Come on short ass, you've shrunk over the years Leah" Embry chuckled from behind me and his hand reached out before laying on the bottom of my back offering me support and his push launched me into the seat that I couldn't quite get into. It took me a minute to recover, the touch his skin had against mine was something else, it was the warmth I had been craving all these years but not the warmth, not the same as Sam's, not the warmth I thought I wanted but one I actually wanted. It was different to Sam's, it was warmer, nicer. My skin felt like it was going to explode in tingles but I blinked myself back to reality and realised I was just staring at Embry, he was staring right back though and before I could say anything he snatched his hand away and flexed it as if the touch had hurt him. He shut the door before I had a chance to reply and hopped in his own side.

"I guess its cause I stopped phasing" My voice cam mumbling out and Embry glanced at me as he started driving from the house. "Me shrinking" I cleared up and he nodded, this time his smile came back but he stayed leaning away from me.

Neither one of us said anything else, he just drove while I just sat quietly as my eyes darted around the impressive inside. Even my car wasn't this decked out, he had all these buttons and lights on the dashboard area, the radio was a screen rather than a radio, like a touch screen thing. This was impressive. I guess he deserved it, Embry was a nice guy I would hate to see him struggling I suppose. Max was humming in the background to the music, it was the usual chart stuff and Embry started smiling like he was impressed Max knew it. I would love to see his face if Max started rapping like he did at home with me, he was good at doing Nicki Minaj.

The car turned down the old road that led to my old house and my heart started pumping faster, I hadn't seen my house since I left. I bet a new family lived there now, new kids, a new happy family. Embry said nothing as we drove down the street of familiar houses, we passed Jared's parents house and I noticed their cars were still the same, we passed my neighbours houses and my eyes travelled over to my old house. It hadn't changed, the white wood was a little older, tinted from the rain but it was still small and cute. The garden was well kept, flowers were here and there but the womanly touch my mom had on it was fading. There was still the swinging chair on the porch but it had been fixed, it was new, the windows had been replaced too and the front door painted a nice light olive green colour. It looked good, at least it was being looked after I suppose.

The car slowed down as we approached it and I was about to tell Embry I didn't need to stop and look but he steered the wheel, turning it into the driveway, my driveway. He stopped, putting the car into park and I found myself just staring at him. My heart was hammering and my mind buzzing over itself, why were we stopped.

"Umm, welcome home?" He said sheepishly and my body sort of fell back into the leather seat behind me. He lived here? Embry Call lived in my old house? Right. This just got more awkward. I want to go home.

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**Sorry if it's a little boring I hate writing the first few chapters of stories I find them boring because I'm just working my way into the action hahaa...anyway hopefully this was ok :D leave ideas and things for what happens next. Just FYI Embry has not imprinted, my idea of it is that Embry has always had a thing for Leah but they haven't imprinted, its purely a real love story rather than imprint stuff because I'm bored of imprint stories, the imprint idea makes me feel like its all forced :/ Anyway! Leave a review :D xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you for the reviews! It means a lot :D **

**Enjoy!**

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What are you supposed to do in that moment? Well I had no idea but the moment I realised Embry Call lived in my old house, the home I loved that was now his home, well I laughed. I wasn't much of a crier, I tried not to ever cry and normally it worked to the extent where I bit my lip and swallowed my tears but as I sat in his truck with the pain in my heart and awkwardness trying to force tears from my eyes I just laughed.

I laughed at the fact I was back in the place I promised myself I would never go again, I laughed at the fact that Emily had done such a good job at being shocked when she saw us, I laughed at the fact Embry Call now lived in the house my dad built while my mom shacked up with my dad's best friend in Forks and I laughed at the fact Sam had literally shit a fucking brick when he saw Max clinging to my leg, then I carried on laughing because the image of his face kept replaying in my mind.

Why I ever agreed to come back here was beyond me but not only was I now the baby momma to the alpha, I was the freak who had sat for twenty minutes in Embry's car laughing to myself while he moved my cases inside and sorted Max out with a snack and some toys. It was safe to say I understood why he ran out like he did when I finally clambered inside the house, he had stayed not even five minutes to tell me I was staying in what used to be Seth's room because Embry now had my room which was even fucking weirder and then he left and he hadn't come back.

The house had changed but it hadn't at the same time, it had been painted, the kitchen units were new but it was still my childhood home. I loved this house. It was full of laughter for me, the happiness of my childhood lingered here and as much as I loved the house it hurt to be back here because I knew that sort of laughter and family happiness didn't linger in my house back in Hawaii, Max had never experienced that. Sure we had fun but it wasn't like what I had as a kid.

I rolled over in the cold bed, I couldn't get warm. It was 4am and I couldn't sleep, I suppose it could be the time difference messing with me but I was tired, I just couldn't sleep, I felt lonely here. I wanted a warmth these sheets couldn't give me.

I counted to 457 in my head before finally giving up on the idea of sleep and I swung myself up and out of the little tiny cold bed that lay in the room obviously decorated for guests, it no longer had all the posters of superhero's Seth used to have, the smell of stinky socks didn't linger here not that I missed that smell. I was dressed in simply a pair of pyjama shorts and a t-shirt, I was freezing but I didn't have a jumper with me. I looked around the room, one was hung on the door it was big and as I held it to my nose the manly smell of outdoors and manly shower gel hit me, it was a nice smell, I sniffed at it a few times before wrapping it around myself and tip toed into the hallway.

The door to my old bedroom was shut, Embry was obviously home. I had acted like an ass going into the laughing fit, he probably regretted offering the house to me now. I wandered to the stairs, my eyes glancing over the open door to what used to be my parents room and was now apparently what Jake used when he was here, Max was sprawled on the bed the covers having been kicked off him, his action figures were spread around him and his wolf teddy cuddled into his side. His soft snores travelled out and his lips snapped open and shut before his little body rolled over away from where I was stood staring at him. He was fine here, he seemed to like it, he had run around like mad all evening exploring the house and garden before conking out on the sofa. I pulled his bedroom door shut leaving only a small gap before making my way down the stairs, the second to bottom step creaked as I hopped down it and a smile came to my face, it had always creaked, it used to give me away as a teenager when I would try to sneak out and my dad would hear it. He would say it was his way of keeping tabs on me; I had perfected the art of hopping over it by one stage though so instead he used to leave traps along the downstairs hallway such as objects that would make me trip up.

I fluttered my way into the kitchen not paying much attention as I threw open the fridge and leaned into it leaving my barely covered butt poking out into the dark kitchen. What could I eat at 4am that would be acceptable? Yoghurt? No too healthy. Chocolate? Too sickly. Left over pizza? My hips would hate me forever. I glanced into the freezer section hoping there would be the ice cream I saw earlier, it was my favourite flavour cookie dough but as my eyes scanned for it there was only an empty space where it should have been. Damn.

"Uhum" A cough let up behind me and my whole body jumped in surprise sending my head smashing into the top of the fridge.

"Son of a bitch" I grumbled as I fell out of the fridge and clutched at my head, a chuckle sounded behind me, a chuckle too low and rough to be Max's and I span around to where my eyes fell onto a topless Embry sat at the table watching me in amusement.

"Sorry" He said quickly as he took in my unamused appearance and he shovelled a spoon into his mouth, my eyes followed the spoon as it fell back into the ice cream tub I had been looking for. Eurgh. I so wanted that. "Sorry did you want some?" Embry quickly asked obviously noticing the way I was staring at the ice cream and I shook my head before grabbing behind me in the fridge and pulling the first thing I found out.

"No I wanted this" I held it up in front of my face internally groaning as I saw what I pulled out, an apple. Who the hell wants an apple in daytime let alone 4am when you can't sleep and want shitty food. Embry just nodded and kicked his leg out to push the chair opposite him away from the table as if offering it to me. I felt awkward here, I wanted to walk back to the room that wasn't my room but instead I shut the fridge and sat myself down bringing the apple to my lips to nibble at it.

We sat there for a few minutes, me nibbling on my apple while Embry shovelled the ice cream into his mouth. Despite myself my eyes wondered over him as he looked down into his tub, he had grown, he wasn't a kid anymore. He was a man, a big hot man. As much as I wanted to ignore it he was good looking, I guess he always had been. His skin was clear and smooth, his hair fell lazily across his forehead not quite as cropped as the other guys while his body had grown from boyish muscles to full on V on his abdomen and soft abs that were there even when he didn't tense.

"Can't sleep?" He suddenly looked up catching me out as my eyes stared at his shirtless torso and I felt a blush grow in my cheeks before I dropped my head to take a bite of apple too big for my mouth. I kept making an idiot out of myself today; this guy probably thought I belonged in a mental facility.

"Nope, you?" My voice shook but I disguised it as swallowing the bite of apple that wasn't soothing my late night ice cream craving. I glanced back up as he shrugged and twiddled the mug on the table around by its handle.

"I had patrol, I take a while to wind down after patrols it gets my body all worked up so I'm never tired. I've been home since 2 but I just can't sleep. Sucks because I gotta be up for work at 7" He leaned back against his chair and ran his hand through his ruffled hair.

"Do you patrol every night?" Normal conversation, I could do this. I mean it was better than me having a freak out laughing fit. He shrugged slightly and put more ice cream in his mouth.

"Mostly, I mean it's sort of left to the guys without imprints and families yanno? They get given day shifts so they can be with their imprints and so Paul can be with his family, Quil gets nights off to see Claire and so Seth, me, Collin and Brady get left with nights, Jake does some nights but at the minute he's not patrolling at all which is understandable. I get one night off a week, I guess I don't mind unless I get stuck with Collin or Brady, those two are fucking annoying little shits, girl mad. Total man whores, they haven't learnt to keep their thoughts to themselves so it's like watching shit porn every time I'm on patrol with one of them. I swear to god not even Paul was as bad as they are at keeping their thoughts in. Sorry you probably don't care" He ranted on then blushed as he said sorry, I frowned unsure of why he was apologising I didn't mind, I even chuckled at the thought of it. Paul had been bad when I was phased, it was like never ending dirty dreams with Paul.

"I've spent all night talking to a 5 year old about which superhero is better, Batman or Spiderman. So I don't mind honestly" I chuckled again and caught myself, why was I so at ease sat here? Not an ounce of me felt on edge like I had done minutes before in my bed, I actually liked hearing him talk. He started laughing now and his hand scratched over the stubble on his chin making a crisping noise that made my stomach make a funny movement, I always liked stubble. I guess I still did. I took another bite out of my apple and again my sugar craving wasn't fixed.

"Definitely Spiderman, no arguments there"

"That's what I said but no he's all like but Batman has a cool car" I leant forward and laughed as Embry did.

"Kids got a point though, badass car" Embry laughed a little more before we both calmed down and I leant back in my seat my smile still on my face from the thought of Max and his obsession with superheroes. "You know I think I have an old comic somewhere on Batman"

"He found it already" I cut across him and he cocked his head to the side looking at me. "Sorry, he likes to explore and I was taking a shower and I came out and he was sat on your bed reading it, I got him to put it back, he's awful you should see him at Christmas time at home, no matter where I put the presents he finds them so then I have to make a bullshit excuse that he's too smart to believe, we've now settled on the excuse that I buy some toys and send them to Santa so he can wrap them for me. Honestly he is a nightmare" I giggled to myself and nibbled the apple again, Embry was just grinning, his grin so wide I thought for a second his face would break. "What?" I rubbed my fingers over my mouth thinking I had something on my face but he shook his head.

"You look good, I'm happy you came home even if it is only for a few weeks. Everyone missed you." He smiled still but the atmosphere shifted, I let my shoulders fall as if being deflated. It was hard to believe those words, no one except Embry and Jake spoke to me earlier.

"You look good too" Was all I could reply and even that was barely a whisper.

"Well now you're gonna make me blush" Embry teased and the atmosphere lifted again, I hadn't known him that well before I left but he was always good and making things less awkward, he was a easy going person. I let my smile lift again but it didn't stop until I forced it too.

"So you work every day and patrol every night?" I shifted in my seat and changed the subject, I wasn't in the mood for soppy reunions especially with any pack members. He nodded and his own smile fell, he was obviously tired. "Are you not too young to be tied down like that? Should you not be out in clubs meeting girls, who knows your 'imprint' may be out there waiting for you and your stuck here wandering around on all fours" I tried to sound light and not prying but I think I failed, Embry though being nice like he is didn't seem to mind, he let out a snort of laughter before shaking his head in a determined manner.

"I did the club thing when I was younger, I never got carded bonus of being a wolf and looking older. But no, I'd rather be working, making money. I don't want to struggle like my mom did. And as for imprinting, not for me. I hate the whole idea of it, don't get me wrong I love the girls that they imprinted on, their like sisters to me but it seems so forced. I mean just look at" He stopped, his eyes flittering from me to the floor and I knew what he was going to say, Sam had loved me before the imprint told him he didn't. I thought the same thing. "It's not something I want, if I could stop phasing right now and never be imprinted that would be fine, I don't want that, I want to choose, I want to fall in love not be told I'm in love before I even know her damn name"

He blushed a little as he finished his ramble, it was obviously something that bothered him and I felt bad, he probably would imprint one day and he probably would hate it at first but I think he knew if he did imprint he would have no choice but to love her. I hated the idea of imprinting, I guess I was biased though.

"What about you? How you doing up in Hawaii?" He dug into some ice cream again and looked at me, suddenly the calm he had gave me faded and my body started shifting awkwardly. Me. Well, I was lonely, desperately trying not to be bitter and miserable every day of my life and a single mom who still pined after her ex boyfriend who chose her fucking cousin over her.

"Good, I work in a lawyer's office as an assistant, nothing special but its money. I mean I have my own little house, nothing special but good enough for Max and I. I'm ok, Rebecca helped me a lot" I shrugged it off and said anything but the answer that rolled through my head. I wasn't ok, most days saw me wanting to cry over how lonely I was but I was good at running from my problems and so I mostly ignored the loneliness.

"That's good, real good. Boyfriend?" I watched as his smile and shine in his eyes turned from genuine happiness to curious interest, his smile faltered and his eyes dimmed and narrowed as he waited for me to answer, it was a strange look I couldn't decipher what it meant but I shook my head at him.

"No, Becca tries but I'm not interested" I shrugged it off like it was nothing but the words instantly made him smile again, this time wider and he actually seemed relieved or happy that my answer was no. I guess he knew if I had a boyfriend the drama with Sam would be made worse, he didn't want to listen through all that shit as much as I didn't want to live through it.

He stood up suddenly, bending his head away as he tried to straighten his smile out and he walked to where the cutlery was kept before opening the drawer and turning to throw something at me, I caught it clumsily and held it up, it was a spoon.

"Have some ice cream" He stated simply before sitting down and pushing the ice cream tub to the middle of the round table, I shook my head even though all I wanted was a bit of that ice cream. He chuckled and pushed at the tub again. "Leah you've been eyeing it up since you came down here just have some" He urged again and I found myself blushing, I hadn't realised I had stared at it that much. It had just called to me. I decided to just accept it and took the spoon letting myself grab hold of a fairly large scoop before shoving it in my mouth, it tasted so good. I loved ice cream especially at 4am when I was feeling so...well I don't know how I felt. I guess I was on edge from just being back here, I felt like at any minute Sam would pop up and the shit would begin but Embry seemed to calm that down in me, since I had been talking to him I hadn't been my usual nervous wreck and my hands hadn't been shaking.

We didn't say much else, just little snippets of conversation where Embry would tell me about things that have happened, we got onto the conversation about the pack and I asked about the kid Jake had imprinted on, he explained briefly but better than Jake had about how the Volturi came to fight the Cullens and the pack stood by them, apparently there wasn't a fight which I suppose was good. I had been involved in one fight over Bella Swan and that was enough to drive me to near insanity so if I had stayed here I definitely would not have been able to contain my hatred for the girl. I remember the only battle I had, newborn vampires. I hated all that wolf stuff, I hated risking everything for Bella Swan.

I hadn't realised how focused I was on my inner thoughts until my spoon got knocked out of the hand as I reached for ice cream, I looked up at Embry who was smiling like a kid and I noticed he was trying to pry the last cookie dough ball from my spoon, we had nearly ate the whole tub and it was the only little ball left. I grabbed at my spoon again and proceeded to knock his away which made him laugh, we kept knocking at one anothers spoons until he finally caught it on his and lifted it out of the tub.

"Not fair" I pouted suddenly feeling more playful than I had in years, Embry's eyes scanned over my face stopping at my lips which I had formed into a childlike pout and his smile grew while his eyes rolled over dramatically.

"Oh fine" He chuckled and held his spoon over the table offering it to me, I took it quickly and made an over the top 'mm' noise as I ate the dough. It was damn good. "Don't get used to it, in future the cookie dough ice cream is mine" Embry chuckled and got up to throw the tub in the bin.

"Hell no cookie dough is my favourite, you haven't got a chance Call" I too mirrored him and stood up to put the spoons in the sink as I moved toward the counter he span around from the bin and we ended up pressed against one another still giggling against the sink.

The warmth from his body blanketed me and for the first time in years I felt warm, the heat rushed to my cheeks causing them to flame and my laughter dimmed while my head dropped. This was awkward. His body no longer rumbled with laughter instead he was just sort of staring down at me and a little cough from behind us finally made him jump away from me.

I glanced behind his huge body to where a pyjama clad Max was stood clutching his teddy in his arm. He rubbed tiredly at his eyes before cocking his head to the side to stare intent at the two adults in front of him. "I can't sleep momma" He said simply.

"Go back up I'll come now" I said softly and made my way past Embry to push Max gently out of the door. I watched as he patted his way up the stairs before turning back to Embry who was frowning like he was confused. "What?"

"He has black wolf teddy?"

My heart sunk slightly, it was the one toy of Max's that always confused me and hurt me. I hated that he had it but he had chose it and was utterly attached. "Yeah, ironic huh? He chose it though. I guess he loves it, he calls it Papa wolf" As I said it Embry's mouth fell open slightly before slapping shut again.

"Weird. Quileute spiritual shit?"

I had to laugh at that the idea the spirits had made my kid choose a wolf that looked like his dad, well I suppose with all the supernatural shit I knew about I couldn't say it was impossible. "Who knows, either way he loves that damn teddy. I better go up, thanks for the ice cream and for letting us stay here, I promise I'll try keep him out of your stuff" I gave him a smile which he returned and I turned to leave.

"Oh and my jumper looks good on you, you can keep it if you don't have a jacket or anything. It's freezing outside at the minute" I stopped in my tracks, the jacket around me suddenly feeling warmer than it had all night. His jacket. Damn it. I said nothing just hurried from the room and up the stairs, as I reached the top step I realised he was following me up and I turned as I went toward Max's room to see him watching me as I went. Why was this so awkward?

"Goodnight Embry" I said swiftly and he nodded at me.

"Goodnight Leah" He winked as he said it and walked into his room, my eyes flittered over his body to his backside and I found myself blushing as I realised I was checking him out. I was being such an ass. He was being friendly to me and my stupid brain was going overboard. I turned back to Max's room to see him sat on his bed watching me so innocently yet so cheekily. I walked to him and lay beside him and his little hand came up to trace a line over my lips which I now realised were in a huge smile.

"Your smiling momma, you look happy. I like Embry, he makes you laugh and smile even more. Embry can be our friend can't he momma?" I looked across at him, is cute innocent face making my heart melt slightly. I glanced up through the open door to Embry's which was now shut and sighed.

"Yeah he can baby"

At that Max let out a huge grin and cuddled into my chest. "I just don't like those other big men, they are scary and mean looking, we don't have to be friends with them do we?" Max sighed and glanced up for reassurance from me but I offered none, my stomach flipped with nerves and my heart sunk even more.

I said nothing, just smoothed his hair knowing that I couldn't promise him anything. He was scared of Sam because of the way he stormed out, but Sam was his dad and if he wanted to be a part of his life I had to let him try. This was going to be the worse few weeks of my life, I actually found myself praying the funeral would be soon, because I had this horrible feeling that something was coming that would make it near impossible to leave again, I had this feeling deep inside that the longer I stayed here the harder I would fall back into this being my home and that's something I don't think I could handle alone.

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**Thank you for being patient and waiting, I know a lot isn't happening at the minute but I'm just building the story and then when I get more time I can focus more on it all :D leave a review ! xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you SO SO SO much for the support, means a lot and for your patience with my updates at the minute. I really appreciate it. So keep it up :D **

**And enjoy this chapter! **

**I do not own Twilight.**

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What am I doing? What am I even freaking doing?

I mean sure, when I said to Becca I would come here for the funeral I knew shit would hit the fan with Sam, I knew everything would be found out and I knew I would have to face up to it all but now I was here and sat in the rental car with her on my way to a bonfire at the beach, I had to think to myself what the fuck did I do? I should never have come back here, I should never have put Max through this. I had been fine all day but then again all day I was at the house with my mom and Seth, I didn't have to face up to the whole pack, I hadn't even seen Embry all day but now I was only seconds away from having to actually see them all and Sam. I had to see Sam and most likely talk to him.

I had tried saying no but Max had heard the word beach and that was it, he wanted to come and so now we were on our way to what I could only imagine will end in some sort of argument or tears. Either way I was shitting a brick.

"Calm down Leah" Rebecca snapped from the driver's seat, she had listened to me rant for an hour before she managed to get me in the car and now I was in the car I wanted to get out and so to keep myself from leaping out I was jumping around the passenger seat while Solomon sat behind me trying to force my shoulders to keep still.

"I can't do this, I mean yesterday he kind of sprung up on me but today I know I'm going to see him and I just don't want to. You know I really wish I didn't come back, I just hate this feeling of not knowing what's going to happen, of being on edge and feeling like such a god damn bitch" I groaned and threw my head back against the head rest of my seat.

"POTTY MOUTH" Max screamed from the back seat but I ignored him, I didn't give a shit in this moment about not swearing in front of him. I was sure that when I stepped out of this car I would be bitched out by Mr. Almighty himself.

"Oh man up Leah, with the risk of sounding like a total bitch, you got yourself in this position, you ran away all those years ago and at some point you have to face up to what happened. So man the hell up and get out of the frigging car" Rebecca snapped as she slammed the car into a parking space and got out. I would have felt hurt by her words had I not known they were true, I was a little surprised she actually said it but I wasn't hurt. I glanced back at Solomon who to was a little shocked at his wife's outburst, he just shrugged at me before grabbing Leo and leaping from the car.

I stayed put for a minute before Max called out to me from outside the car and I forced myself to get out.

"Momma this beach isn't like the one at home" Max whispered to me as if speaking any louder would offend the sand or something. I nodded at him, he was used to miles of sandy beaches with blue water, here it was a fairly small beach, the sand littered with tree trunks and longs, the water was choppy and grey in the dull evening light. It was La Push though, not Hawaii and if I was being honest I had always even whilst sat on those perfect beaches in Hawaii, I had always missed this one.

"Are you coming or are you gonna use those fine ass legs of yours to run away again?" Rebecca snapped at me again and I would have taken her seriously had she not used the leg comment or the fake gangster tone she put on as she said it. She could never stay mad at me for long.

Max started giggling and pulled on my hand toward the beach and as he pulled me I let myself look down over the beach, there they were. The fire roared from the side of the group, all of them spaced out yet still fairly huddled together and as much as I tried not to my gaze focused in on two people, they were cuddled against one another talking to my mom, his hands were moving around frantically and I knew they were discussing me, Max, everything.

Max's hand tightened around mine as we reached the sand and I looked down to see his wide eyes staring slightly scared at the group of men he obviously was still wary of. Annabelle was running off toward Jake having obviously taken a liking to the uncle she had never met while Leo was falling asleep in Solomon's arms. I rubbed my thumb over Max's tiny hand trying to encourage him but he just snuggled closer to my legs making me nearly fall over him. I could feel the stares already and as I looked up I saw most of the guys looking over at us, they were all wary, awkward most likely but still there was hardly any smiles, only Seth and the two young boys Embry had told me last night were man whores smiled at me, not to mention Embry who was stood with Quil, he offered me that signature grin and my stomach offered me a slight flip in respond, probably nerves but the fact Embry's face glowed against the fire didn't help matters, it just highlighted his good looks that were already beginning to be a problem to my stomach and its ever flipping butterflies.

"Look Embry!" Max caught sight of the one person he liked and as he squealed Embry's name Embry gave a big thumbs up which Max responded to which his own clumsy thumb up. I had come down after waking up alone, it was half 8 and I wondered downstairs to find Embry still there with Max, he had told me he didn't want to wake me up so he had gone to work late. Max nearly had a fit when Embry left, he had really taken a liking to Seth and Embry, now I just needed him to be less scared by Sam and everything would be fine. I think. I hoped anyway.

"Go see him then" I let go of his hand expecting him to run off but before he did he waved for me to bend to his level which I did.

"You can hold Papa wolf, then you won't be scared, he keeps you safe" The little boy whispered loudly and handed me his teddy before placing a small kiss on my nose and turning to run off to Embry and Quil. All the guys had obviously heard him and the smiles sprang up now as they watched the little boy run off to land a high five on Embry. I internally cursed myself for raising such a sweet kid.

Becca tugged at my arm and pulled me toward the group, she made a beeline whilst I went for Jake and Seth who were the only two I felt comfortable being with. Unfortunately as I went to them Paul turned around and offered me his signature trouble making grin.

"You sure the kids yours Leah Loo, seems a bit too sweet to be queen B's" And there he was, Paul was back and by the looks of it was still a prick. I cringed at the nickname, I had always hated when he called me Leah Loo, I had no idea where it came from.

"Nice to see you too Pauly" I tried sounding sarcastic but that part of me had lay dormant for so long I didn't pull it off.

"Don't call me Pauly" He growled slightly and Jake smacked him across the head.

"Then don't call her Leah Loo and don't be such a prick" Jake barked at his pack brother only to have the smack across the head returned this time by Rachel who gave Jake a scornful look for hitting her husband or whatever Paul was to her.

"Would you two cut it out" She snapped before leaning in to hug me, Flynn was following her around and just stared up at me with no particular expression there, he was the spit of Paul, I could see every ounce of Paul in him now that I hadn't noticed yesterday. Rachel stood awkwardly for a second before flittering off toward Rebecca who was watching me like a hawk. However awkward I felt here I didn't want to be near Becca, she spoke loudly at the best of times and I knew if I was with her she would say something wrong that all the guys would hear.

I looked around the group surrounding the bonfire, my eyes fell on the couple who awkwardly stood with Kim and Jared, they were all talking but his eyes fell on mine and my stomach twisted horribly at the look he held. Sam looked more than just awkward, he wasn't as horrible looking as he had been at Jakes this time he looked genuinely hurt as well as slightly annoyed. I couldn't hold his stare for long, each second we lingered on one another my chest tightened and after a few seconds I had to completely snap my head away in the opposite direction. Although the yes in that direction were kinder, the twisting in my stomach kept on going. Embry, he didn't have his trademark grin there instead he was giving me the same look he had the night I left, like he knew every little thing about me and was trying to speak to me with just a simple glance and even though it was annoying me that he could do that with a simple look, I couldn't look away.

"So...you're short now" The male voice chirped at me and a finger poked at my head making me nearly fall over from the lack of attention I had been paying. My eyes dropped Embry's as I steadied myself and turned to see Quil staring at me, Paul next to him. Jake had wondered off and left me with tweedle dum and tweedle dee. I let out a sigh knowing that this conversation was never going anywhere remotely good and turned my body fully toward the pair of oversized kids. They had always been the two annoying ones, Paul simply because he was Paul and Quil because he was a kid, he always liked to tease people and play pranks. Obviously that hadn't changed.

He went to poke my head again and I dodged him so that he instead brushed against my shoulder. "Stop touching me Quil" My voice rose and the sound of it caused them both to make girly 'oo' noises as if trying to impersonate a girl.

"Touchy touchy Leah" Quil wiggled his eyebrows loving the fact his favourite person to drive insane was home.

"Is it your time of the month?" Paul piped up now nudging Quil playfully as he did so but I always caught the way his eyes darted to Rachel making sure she wasn't watching him taunt me.

"Why are you so annoying?" I groaned as Quil made another movement to touch my head, this time he was too fast for me and I couldn't dodge him meaning his hand smoothed down over my face lazily in an overly annoying way.

"Why are you so short?" Paul leaned forward and winked as he said it and Quil lifted his hand to pat my head as if I were a child. I wasn't that short, it was 5'7, I had only shrunk a little bit. I went to snap back but a wave of heat fell over my left side and a massive arm came over to push Quils hand away from me.

"Enough guys, damn you could make a nun swear" I glanced up without needing too, I knew it was Embry. Once again both guys made 'oooo' noises like children before falling into their own fits of chuckles. "I should have warned you, these two have only got worse over time" Embry cocked his head to the side holding in his own chuckle instead only showing a smirk. I didn't need to be told, I knew they would never change, no one really had. Everything here seemed to have frozen in time and I actually felt like I was right back to the time I left, the bonfire that everyone had sat around that night was roaring behind me and I felt the same fear prickling through my spine, the same desperation to turn and leave. But even as that part of me kicked and screamed inside me there was a part of me that just felt...normal. Like this was what I needed, I guess I liked seeing these people, they were family to me.

"Naaa we are only joking Leah Loo, it's good to see you. We missed ya, right Quil?" Paul nudged Quil's arm again and both of them shot huge toothy grins at me before taking it in turns to lean in and offer me tight warm hugs, even with both of them wrapped over me I still didn't really feel that warmth, I still felt sort of chilly.

"Too damn right, everyone missed you. Even Jared missed you and fuck me did you scare the shit out of him when you were here" Quil looked behind me and winked, I turned to see Jared shooting his middle finger at Quil and for the first time since being around these guys I laughed. I had forgot how stupidly funny they could be.

"So what have you been doing since you been gone?" Paul asked the first question and I could sense Embry look down at me from beside me, he knew some of my life, I had given him snippets during out early morning ice cream binge.

"Well" I started but Quil who had begun bouncing in excitement interrupted me.

"Yeah what's the deal, where are you living?"

"Seeing as you're so damn short I'm guessing you don't phase?

"What about the kid, give us the deets"

The two guys fell into continuous questions and I found my head bobbing back and forth trying to keep up with them but I couldn't. Well, I had to say, I knew I would be questioned but this was ridiculous I couldn't even reply to them because they talked so fucking fast.

"Seriously? Would you two give it a rest?" Embry let up beside me, his response was more a sigh but he was obviously irritated. Surprisingly though, I wasn't. I mean my eyes flashed back toward Sam but I barely lingered on his for a second before turning back to the guys in front of me. I knew everyone was listening in and my cheeks flooded with heat at the thought but I figured it would be better to just answer their questions before they just kept asking them over and over.

"Well, I went to Hawaii and stayed with Becca then after like two years I got a job and I have a cute little house, I don't phase anymore and haven't done in like 6 years, I mean not much else to tell, I like Hawaii, I'm doing pretty good" I shrugged my shoulders but both Paul and Quil rolled their heads to look at Max who was running around by the water with Claire and Annabelle, Rachel was trying to coax Flynn to join them but he was having none of it.

"Oh, yeah. Well I had Max after I left, he's six in December, I was around four months pregnant when I left, he loves superheroes and bugs, he's in school and he does soccer on a weekend, he sucks but he tries. I mean, he's a kid what else could you want to know?" I reached my limit at this point, I wasn't getting angry I just sort of didn't know what to say. I could feel Sam's eyes on me, I mean everyone's were on me but his sort of burned away at me and I felt my palms clam up at the feel of it.

I half expected someone to say something completely inappropriate and about Sam but no one did, instead the two guys in front of me just smiled and nodded and the buzz of conversation restarted around me. Well, I guess that went ok? I found myself looking up at Embry for reassurance and he gave it to me in the form of a big smile, that smile, he seriously was like a beacon of light every time he smiled.

"And now your back and living in your old house with the little kid who once used to follow you around like a lost little puppy" Jake appeared next to me, his smile playful and teasing as he peered at his friend next to me. Embry let up a slight growl and reached around my body to hit Jake while the other two just laughed at him. I found myself blushing again, he had always followed me around and I had always put it down to him just being friendly. I looked back to him noticing he too was blushing and stared down into the beer bottle in his hands as if hoping it would swallow him up. I wanted to ask him why exactly he was in my house, he hadn't actually told me yet but as I went to ask Claire's voice got louder and her question made my heart stop and my mouth freeze mid question.

"If Leah is your mommy, who's your daddy? Is he that guy?" Her hand lifted and pointed toward Solomon who also was awkwardly frozen just watching her. This couldn't be good. Say something smart baby boy, I watched Max as he turned to look at Solomon and I prayed to god his witty mind sparked up in this moment and said something along the lines of what I had always told him about him being special and only having a mom, or when I told him his daddy was busy being a superhero to people, I mean technically that wasn't a lie, Sam as sort of a 'hero' to La Push, he protected them from bad things.

"NoPe, that's my Uncle Solomon. I don't have a daddy" He stated simply while popping a few of his letters here and there childishly, I let go of the breath that had caught in my throat and let my eyes travel across the group of people, every single one of them was watching the two kids, Quil had began to make his way to Claire while Rebecca was giving me her best friend look which I knew meant she was half expecting me to burst out crying. I travelled over all the still people until I found him, his anger was gone, instead replaced with sadness and regret, maybe it was guilt. Either way he looked hurt and I found myself wanting to go explain everything to him, I knew I needed to but once again the little voice of my son piped up causing my stomach to knot in a painful twist. "I have a sperm donor" I turned back to him to see him give Rebecca a big proud grin as he repeated the things she had said back in Hawaii.

Holy fuck. He actually just said that. Holy fucking fuck. There was a snigger beside me that I knew was Paul while Jake mumbled 'oh shit' and Embry just snapped his head toward me as if he couldn't quite believe what he had just heard and I couldn't blame him, I watched as Sam began shaking, his sad look turned deathly and the slam of it made me cringe. He was angry again.

"Max" I scorned at the boy but he smiled innocently, he didn't realise what the words meant thanks to Rebecca.

"What? Rebecca said it first" He threw his hands up in a over exaggerated shrug and I had to agree with him.

I fell into step toward him while everyone around me made awkward looks between Sam and I, Solomon began telling Rebecca off while Quil and Paul both continued to snigger. Before I reached Max I turned in time to see Sam storm off away from Emily and Jared, his shakes getting worse with each step he took and I could hear the rage filled rumbles in his chest as he went.

"Leah" Rebecca started but I snapped my body around to where she stood behind Jake who was just watching me waiting for me to explode.

"I told you, I freaking told you he would repeat you. Fucking hell Rebecca." I near enough yelled at my best friend, she bit her lip trying to look sorry but I could see in her eyes she didn't give a shit, she had never liked Sam and was probably loving that Max had just opened a can of shit.

"POTTY MOUTH" Max screeched at me but I ignored him instead I turned to were Sam had ran off, I could still see him walking off down the dark beach, do I follow or do I not? I mean I need to speak to him at some point but he looked pissed.

"Well, that went well" Paul called out in his teasing singing voice and received a smack to the back of the head from Jake again who just shook his head at his brother in law. "What? The kids hilarious?" He shrugged it off before sulking back to Rachel looking for sympathy only to be hit with another slap to the head.

"Momma, I don't like that man he seems angry" Max's hand brushed against mine before tugging on my finger, his hands were cold and when I glanced down at him he had a bright red nose. He wasn't used to this weather. His words made me sigh, my heart sinking in my chest and a new wave of awkwardness fell over the group but only from the guys who heard his whisper, the girls didn't hear it and I thanked god for that because Emily already looked at me like she wanted to kill me. I shook my head letting the wind push my long loose hair over my face, typical that I bring Max here and get myself sort of ready to introduce him to his dad, a man he's been asking about since he could talk and when he meets him he doesn't like him. I could tell already this trip was going to be anything but simple.

"Why don't you go get some food with Seth and he will introduce you to his friends" I pushed Max toward where Seth was with my mom, the happy grin returned to my brothers face as he bounded toward his nephew and Max happily trotted off toward him. "And Max" He stopped and looked back at me, his innocent smile placed on his rosy red face. "Don't repeat anything else you hear Rebecca say ok?" He nodded happily and a couple snorts of laughter went up around me.

I looked back down the beach to see Sam had stopped and was just stood staring out into the water, I could only just make him out because the moon was shining down near where he stood. I guess it was time to face the music. I began making my way past the numerous people, all of them shooting me winks or smiles. I couldn't look up as I went past Embry, something in me wanted to but I let my stubbornness kick up and I lowered my head from the look I knew he was giving me, that one that showed he cared, the one that always confused me. I just kept going until a hand touched my arm, Rebecca, I shook my head at her knowing what she was going to ask before she even opened her mouth. I had to do this alone. I was surprised Emily wasn't running after me or Sam, when I looked up from the sand she was stood exactly where Sam left her only this time she had some girl with her who I had never met. A paleish girl, she was quite beautiful but I paid little attention to her features I just turned and continued walking down the cold beach. As I went he got closer and closer until the small dark blob that had been his silhouette turned into his big muscled body and I could make out his hair blowing in the wind.

My breath failed me as I got closer, it was trapped in my throat and my heart thumped so violently I thought any second I would have a heart attack. My stomach was a swirl of butterflies both from a mixture of fear and old feelings for the man I once loved so fiercely. I stopped only a little way from him, I said nothing but I could hear my own heart beat in my ears and my swirling stomach began churning in nausea as the moments went on and nothing being said.

I couldn't take the silence, I couldn't take the dead panned stare he was giving the ocean in front of us and so I glanced up at his tall body, my eyes falling truly over the face I knew so well and missed most days of my lonely life in Hawaii. He hadn't changed, he was the guy I fell in love with, the guy who betrayed me, the guy who broke my heart, the guy who I ran from and the guy that no matter how hard I tried to forget, I couldn't. I could never forget the way he made me feel, the happy memories of us together and as I studied over his face I took in the way his nose curved or the way his lips plumped out. The pain rose up again, tightening my chest and I felt like my knees would give out and send me to the ground. I felt so weak, so damn weak and scared stood in front of him like this. But I had to do this, I had to face up to this and say something. I had to not only for me but for Max and I suppose Sam.

"Sam" My voice cracked as I tried fighting through the pain in my throat and chest, I watched as his eyes shut slowly and his head fell so that his chin rested on his chest. My heart clenched tightly again, my throat drying up in this scared feeling of the unknown. I had no control here, no clue of what would happen, when I left I was in control, I knew what I was doing but here I didn't know where I was being taken or what he would do. I didn't know how to feel with him being so stood, I could feel his warmth, it didn't fully reach me though it just fell limp of my cold shivering body. "Sam we need to talk" I whispered this time failing to fight the pain within me and Sam let out a long sigh.

His eyes reopened and his head lifted before he placed a look on me, his eyes meeting mine with such...fuck I didn't know what it was, he was so hurt, yet so angry and his eyes were this mix of pain. As his eyes met mine I expected to feel something like what I used to feel, I expected to feel the love that still lingered in my heart the day I left but nothing happened within me, I was just flooded with all those memories, the painful memories of our arguments, of him choosing her. I wanted to turn and run, to cry over everything that had happened but no tears came to my eyes, I was too focused on his and on the way he just stared at me, his mouth opening to sigh once more before speaking, his voice gruff and aged, and mirroring each mixture of feelings still shining in his eyes.

"What did you do Leah?"

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** I will still update again on the weekend. Leave a review!**


	10. Chapter 10

"What have you done Leah?" His cracking voice sighed out with slight irritation. My eyes stopped travelling over his face and the wind knocked from my stomach as if I had just been kicked in the gut. It took me a full minute to process that he was pinning this on me. I had felt sorry for him earlier, I had wanted to apologise for what I had done and I expected him to understand but he didn't. He was oblivious.

"Excuse me?" My eyes finally allowed themselves to blink and my voice came out in one long rush of breath.

"What did you do?" He repeated his same question using different words and the fact he was still pushing that blame flamed anger within me, my stomach prickled in hot liquid and the back on my neck prickled with the rage I hadn't felt for six years. Bastard.

"No I heard you, I just hoped you were having a momentary lapse. You can't be blaming this on me?" My voice grew stronger with each word and it took all my energy to keep that growling anger back. I had to get through this trip without phasing I wouldn't go back to that wolf life. No amount of Sam's asshole ways would send me back to that bitter girl.

He jerked back in surprise and shook his head at me, narrowing his eyes he let out a sarcastic laugh that held his own bitter snap to it. "Leah, you left. For years I thought you just ran away because of me but you waltz back in with a kid, my kid. How is this not your fault? You left, and you lied about being pregnant before you left, you kept it all secret. I had no fucking idea about anything and then he sits there and calls me a fucking sperm donor, you never gave me the chance to be anything else to him. So yes I am blaming this on you" He ranted on, his voice trying so hard to keep below a yell but so obviously failing. I knew that even at this length away from them the guys could probably hear every word Sam had just said.

"Sam, he's five, he has no idea what sperm donor even means we told him it meant super hero" I let out quickly needing to defend my sons actions, he hadn't a clue that what he said was an insult he was a kid.

The angry line creased in Sam's forehead softened for a split second before hardening again and his chest let out a growl, not an aggressive one but an angry one none the less. I stepped back from caution more than fear, I knew that Sam had always been good at keeping his temper but it only took a split second of rage to make one of these guys lose it.

"Why were you even calling me that? I mean how can you label me that when I have no idea the kid existed?"

He had a point, he shouldn't be labelled as a deadbeat if he had no idea Max existed but then again it was Rebecca who said it. "Becca said it. I have never called you that Sam, she made a joke and he heard it and thought she was serious. He doesn't know what it means he thinks his dad is a superhero off fighting crime. I've always told him that you protect people I've never told him that you didn't exist or that you didn't want him" My anger dimmed and my voice came across as a pathetic weak whisper. I hated explaining myself, I felt a damned child being told of for not tidying their room. I couldn't even look up at him I just stared at the ground listening to his hard breaths as he tried calming himself.

I watched Sam's foot kick out against the sand sending bits of it over my feet and ankles before he sighed and shoved himself around so his back was to me. "This is so fucked up Leah, how could you have done this? I always knew you were bitter toward me but I never did anything to deserve you taking him from me or not even telling me about him. This is fucked up" There was a growl in his voice and his shoulders began vibrating again causing me to step further away from the man I had once trusted with my life, back then I would have stayed put, I would have trusted him not to hurt me but right now I didn't trust him with anything. He wasn't being the kind hearted guy I loved, he was still that angry bastard who told me to leave.

"No Sam you are not pinning this on me. You broke my heart, it destroyed me being here watching you and Emily together, I couldn't bring him into that" My voice cracked as the tears I usually hid so well forced their way up my throat forming into a painful lump that was nearly choking me. He turned back toward me, his eyes narrowing as he took me in and I felt like her again, I felt like that girl that was still so overpowered by him, who couldn't speak her mind because she was scared of losing him anymore than she already had. I hated that girl, she was weak but in this moment I was being weak, I was being her and I couldn't handle it. I turned to leave but I heard him come after me, his heavy breathing following me. I still kept my eyes to the floor too scared to look up at the men I knew were listening.

"Oh come on Leah enough, I know what I did and I felt like shit about hurting you but I would have been there for you and you know it. What you did was selfish, you hid it from everyone and you left like a coward. I had a right to know, he had a right to have his dad in his life. I know I hurt you but I never made you leave Leah that was your fault. I never forced you into lying about him or leaving like you did so don't try to blame me for your selfishness" He kept on and on as I marched back up the beach, I could feel the heat of the fire on me when I finally looked up, he was yelling and we were close enough to the group for the girls to hear to and as I looked up I saw Solomon quite obviously holding Rebecca back who looked ready to kill, Emily stood next to her sheepish and pale but silent as ever whereas each of the guys looked completely shocked into silence if not awkward.

I let out a snort of laughter unable to keep it in and my body snapped back around to look at the guy, he was such an arrogant asshole sometimes. He had no idea what he did.

"You told me to leave Sam. You told me to fucking leave" I near enough screamed at him unable to contain the anger much longer, the raging heat prickled through my spine and the air filled with dead silence as everyone around us watched in silence.

The angry line turned into a confused frown and he shook his head like an idiot again. "What? I never told you to leave" He said simply as if completely sure of himself. My eyes darted to were Emily stood and I watched her lower her eyes from mine and bite her lips, she knew, she knew exactly what I meant but she wouldn't speak up for me.

"I came to tell you, you have no idea how hard it was, I was terrified of speaking to you but I came anyway because your right, you deserved to know and so I came to tell you and you just, you were an asshole Sam" I stopped when the tears stung too much, if I spoke another word I wouldn't be able to contain my sobs.

I didn't need to go on though because his face dropped into a knowing mouth open gape and he paled dramatically as he realised what I meant. He knew, he had told me to leave that day. It may not have been an alpha order but it was still him telling me to leave, I was still a broken hearted girl who hung on his every word and he had told me to leave and so I did.

"Leah that, I, you know I didn't mean it like that. I didn't know. I didn't, you didn't, you shouldn't. Fuck" He yelled the last word, his anger was back along with his shaking and a little cold hand curled into mine and tugged, Max, I was doing a shitty job at this. I wanted him to meet Sam but not like this, not when Sam was an angry lunatic shouting at me.

"I shouldn't have come back" I whispered and tried walking away, by this point a few stray tears rolled down my cheek and as I went to walk away Max let go of my hand and ran straight for Sam and sent a hard kick into his shin which obviously didn't hurt Sam physically but it certainly made his shaking stop, he stared down at Max with a look of utter shock.

"Don't shout at my mommy you meany, AND you used a bad word" And with that he poked his tongue out at Sam and ran back to my side and began pulling me away from the picnic area with force too big for his little body. I wanted to laugh but I couldn't, even as funny as it had been that Max had told him off like that I couldn't find it in myself to laugh I just let him pull me back up to the car park.

"He needs a time out, he's a nasty man" Max started mumbling as we carried on up the sand. I knew I should tell him otherwise, I knew I should tell him it wasn't because Sam was nasty but I didn't say a word, I couldn't. I didn't want Max to think badly of Sam because in all honesty as much of an asshole that Sam could be he was still Max's dad and he had a right to know Max and for Max to get to know him for him not the man he was around me but I suppose it was too late for that now. This was well and truly fucked up and I had no idea how to fix it.

We hit the concrete floor of the car park before I realised I had no way of getting back to the house, I had no car here, I didn't even have the house keys. I couldn't turn back so instead I set off toward the main road, we had no other choice.

"Do we gotta walk momma?" Max groaned and let go of my hand as I nodded at him. It was dark, windy and I hated walking through La Push at night, it was damn right creepy but I refused to turn back. I was a stubborn bitch when I wanted to be and I was being one right now because I refused to turn back to that man and his lying little wife until everyone had calmed down. My hands were shaking from adrenaline, the prickling feeling had gone but I still felt angry, I was on edge and my blood was pumping through my body and even as the cold wind hit me I didn't feel it.

We had been walking for twenty minutes, the only sound being offered was Max's bad singing and the howling of wind in the trees. I was mulling over the argument in my head, regretting my choice of words and the way I delivered them, I should have been calmer, I should have sat him down and told him how I had felt those years ago not try blaming it all on him because I knew I held part of the blame too.

"Momma where's papa wolf?" Max stopped dead in front of me and frowned at me. I thought back for a second suddenly aware I was no longer holding it and my stomach dropped. I had let go of it on the beach. Fuck. He wouldn't sleep without the wolf. Fuck sake Leah. Tonight was just one big mistake, my life was just one big mistake.

"Oh Max, I'm sorry" I knelt down to his level, my hands rubbing up and down his cold arms. He didn't have a coat. I was an epic fail of a mother tonight. I watched as his little lips began trembling and water filled his eyes, he couldn't go a night without papa wolf.

"Looking for this?" A low male voice came behind me causing both Max and I to jump in surprise, I fell to my butt and I span around to get a look at the source of the voice, not that I needed to look, it was Embry. His stupid shining eyes bearing into mine and his cheeky grin letting off a flash of pearly white teeth, he chuckled slightly before walking toward us holding the teddy out, Max let go of my hand and ran past me for the wolf and then ran back past me not giving the slightest shit that his mom was on the floor after nearly having a heart attack.

"Sorry" Embry spoke after watching Max skip ahead and he moved forward to offer his hand out to me, I studied it for a second as if taking it would cause me harm but he just jerked it forward again and I lifted my own hand to take his. The burning warmth hit me like a blanket almost instantly, my skin set alight by the touch of his skin on mine and despite trying not to my cheeks blushed like a school girl. I wasn't even sure why, I wasn't attracted to Embry, it was Embry, the annoying little kid who was too immature for his appearance. At least that's how I remember him. He jerked me to my feet and steadied me before dropping my hand causing the warmth to drop with it.

"Mom, Embry look" Max called out breaking the awkward silence that had fallen over the two adults behind him, I tore my eyes from Embry's hand to my son who was happily jumping in a huge puddle soaking his trousers in the process. I resisted the urge to tell him to stop getting his trousers dirty knowing it would only bring on some sort of 'mom' joke from Embry. Instead I simply nodded and smiled before beginning to walk toward him, Embry mirrored the movement and I glanced behind me realising none of the other guys were out here meaning Embry had come out by himself. Had he come after us? No, he probably walked here earlier, surely he wouldn't just leave his car to come after us? I shook the thoughts from my head and just headed toward Max who by this point was drenched.

"So umm, are you ok?" Embry asked hesitantly as we reached Max and he ran off ahead of us again, I let myself look up at him for a split second, that was all it took for his eyes to dart across my face and drop no doubt seeing the tear marks on my cheeks. I wanted to be truthful and tell him no I wasn't ok, I wanted to tell him how shit I had felt for six years and how being here alone in front of Sam was killing me but instead I gave him a forced smile and nodded.

"Yeah, it was bound to happen" I shrugged and gave a little laugh but it was forced and he knew it, hell Max knew it because even he turned to give me a look that read 'yeah right'.

"Did we kill the mood of the party that bad?" I cringed at the thought, it was supposed to be a night to remember Billy and we had caused drama. Rebecca would be livid with me. Not to mention Rachel, she was a piece of work when she was angry.

"Naa, you know what their like they love a bit of drama, the parties just getting started" Embry gave his chuckle, it was low and husky but contagious, even the slightest chuckle he gave made me laugh if only a little bit.

"But yet your here?"

"I'm exhausted, long day at work so thought I would go home" He shrugged it off and looked right ahead at Max.

"You walked after us to bring his wolf?" I asked suddenly needing to know whether he had come after me or not.

"Nope my cars at the house, I guess I walk faster than you two" He shrugged it off like it was nothing but his eyes danced in an unfamiliar way.

So he hadn't left his car at the beach, he had genuinely walked there earlier or got a lift? I so over reacted about things sometimes, he hadn't followed us he had just caught up with us by accident. We fell back into silence, I wasn't quite sure what to say to him, I had never felt awkward around Embry but I felt like he was watching me or evaluating how I was acting so I just stayed silent. If he wanted to talk he would talk.

The heat that had raged through me earlier had died down, I felt strangely calm, I was no longer worrying over my actions or letting the feelings Sam stirred drive me crazy. I just walked calmly next to Embry, the air around us silent. He didn't breathe heavily like Sam always had, he had soft breaths that weren't annoying but were soothing, his feet didn't stomp against the ground he walked in manly strides and his body wasn't so big it overpowered me or intimidated my small frame, he was just sort of naturally big not obnoxiously big like Sam. I needed to stop comparing them. I needed to stop comparing everyman to Sam Uley. It was beginning to drive even me insane, after six years of doing it I needed to stop.

We turned onto the street leading to my old house, Max was beginning to slow down in front of us and came to a full on stop in front of Jared's parents house and turned lifting his arms up to be carried.

"Your too heavy baby" I shook my head at him knowing I wouldn't be able to hold him for long but before he was able to start a tantrum Embry swooped forward and bundled him up to his side, Max's head lolled onto his shoulder and he let his little eyes fall closed, he looked tiny in Embry's arms. A part of me 'awwed' at the sight of it, my heart melted at how comfortable and at ease Max was around this big man he barely knew and at how open and friendly Embry was to a kid he barely knew.

"He's pretty heavy for his size, you don't have too" I found myself quickly offering to Embry but he just raised an eyebrow at me and I realised how stupid I was, Embry could lift a tree trunk and it would be like a feather to him.

"Kids had a tiring night being quizzed by Claire, kicking big men's shins and walking all this way, I think I can manage carrying him for a little bit" Embry chuckled again but lowered himself to a whisper as Max's breaths became sleepy and soft like he was drifting off.

"Oh god, I swear to god I did not teach him to say that or to kick people he's getting a time out tomorrow" My hands flew to my temples and began rubbing, it probably looked awful a five year old saying what he said and kicking someone he barely knew. I hadn't raised him to be violent toward people.

Embry just laughed again, this time it was harder and for a second he sounded like he was barking. "Oh please, he did what every one of us wanted to do to Sam, as close as I am to Sam the guy can be a right dick, talks out of his ass most of the time and tonight he was ten times worse, I would have loved to kicked that asshole in the nuts for what he said"

"Potty mouth" Max yawned against Embry's shoulder as Embry let off his string of naughty words and I couldn't help but smile at both what Embry had said and at Max's cuteness.

"Sorry little dude" Embry whispered and tightened his arms around Max as if trying to blanket him with his warmth, my heart melted again, Embry wasn't the immature kid anymore he was completely mature and kind hearted. Watching him with Max was something else, only Solomon had ever been like this with Max and even then it was more because Solomon knew Max had no other men in his life where as with Embry it seemed like he genuinely cared about Max even after only knowing him a day or two.

"He needs a jacket" Embry commented as we walked on down the street and I looked at Max, although Embry's hot skin was keeping him warm he still looked cold.

"I know, we both do. I guess we don't have that many, no need for them back home really"

He nodded at me and his eyes dimmed to what I thought to be sadness before his mouth opened and his voice mirrored that same emotion in his eyes. "So when are you leaving?"

The sound of his voice made my heart clench, he was giving me the strangest reactions. "As soon as possible, this place is not good for me, I feel so" I stopped before letting my feelings out, I didn't want anyone knowing how I felt, I didn't want them knowing how vulnerable I felt here or alone. "It doesn't matter"

"It does Leah, how you feel does matter. Don't let dickhead Sam make you feel like you don't or that you did something wrong, you did what you had to do and everyone will understand that...I understand. Don't think that you don't matter Leah because you do" He started of strong, his voice firm and confident but he grew sheepish as he went on, his words causing less of an impact within me, not because he didn't mean them but because he almost looked awkward or felt awkward saying them. I fought the urge to smile, I knew Embry was a nice guy but this was ridiculous he seemed to have the power to make me feel better instantly.

I said nothing back just walked on toward the house I knew so well fighting the urge to smile as I went, he was damn good at building people up.

"The house key is in my pocket" Embry whispered as we reached the front yard, I realised he couldn't reach it because of Max so I lightly dipped my fingers into his jean pocket letting myself feel the firm muscles beneath his jeans, his leg twitched as my fingers brushed lightly over the denim fabric and the twitch caused an eruption in my stomach as if the feeling of his body against my fingers was making my stomach fly around. I grabbed the key quickly and pulled them out, his car keys lay in my hand and I remembered his car. I looked up at the drive for it, it wasn't there, nor was it on the road in front of us and we didn't have a garage. He hadn't left his car here. I knew it, I knew it was at the beach. I knew I saw it before I walked down, I knew it. Why had he lied? Why had he said he had walked there?

I looked up at the man next to me, his eyes burning down on me again and I realised why, he had come after me. He had come after us after the Sam incident. Just like he had ran after me when we were younger. He had come after me.

I wanted to ask why but he turned and made his way for the front door leaving me to run after him, my mind was a mess, all these questions of why were fluttering around inside me. It didn't make sense of why he would come after me, if anyone I would expect Seth to come for me, or Solomon but not Embry. I opened the front door and simply let Embry go in ahead of me, I fell into a silent walk behind him just watching him carefully as he went up to Jake's room and lay Max on the bed, the boy was snoring now ever so softly but he clung to his teddy so tightly.

I tip toed to the suitcase that lay open and grabbed his Spiderman pyjamas as Embry began taking his cold wet clothes off him. I took over carefully once his jeans were off and flopped the sleeping boy into his night clothes before throwing his blanket over him. Again I fell into a silent walk behind Embry back into the hallway by the stairs and shut the door behind me.

I looked up at him, he looked right back and I built myself up to ask him why he lied about the car. He was giving me that look again, the one I couldn't understand, it was full of something but I wasn't sure what, I don't think anyone had ever given me that look before.

"Goodnight Embry" I chickened out and darted around him, I couldn't even ask him a simple fucking question. He said nothing in response, he only seemed to move as I reached my door and turned the handle, the floorboards behind me creaked and I turned to see him coming right up behind me.

"She knew didn't she" He said it so simply yet so knowingly, like he wasn't asking but stating. I didn't understand his words, I cocked my head to the side and narrowed my eyes waiting for him to elaborate. "Emily, she knew all along about why you left"

My heart stopped and hammered down into my stomach which dropped as well, my skin crawled in a shiver and I felt a nervous sweat come on. What the fuck? How did he know that? What do I do now? Oh shit.

I didn't need to say anything, my reaction was enough answer because he nodded and slowly shut his eyes before reopening them again letting out a breathy laugh as if he wasn't surprised that he was right. "Why didn't you tell Sam?" He asked me and it was my turn to let out the breathy laugh.

"I've caused enough problems for him and Emily just by coming back, no matter what I think of her or him I just don't feel like telling him hey you're wife's been lying to you for six years, I think that would finish him off. For now he doesn't need to know that." I shrugged, I too asked myself that earlier, she hadn't spoke up for me when I needed her to but now I didn't want Sam to know, it was my fight not hers, for all she knew I could have gotten rid of the baby when I left or put it up for adoption, she couldn't have done anything even if she had told Sam. Embry nodded but I knew he wasn't convinced with my answer.

"Secrets safe with me, goodnight Leah" He turned again and strode toward his own door. "And for the record, I don't think what you did was selfish, it took a lot of courage and strength to do what you did and you've done a good job with Max, he's a good kid and you're a good mom" And with that he went into his room and shut the door. Leaving me stood in the dark with nothing more than a stupid grin on my face that he seemed so good at causing. Embry Call, he wasn't a kid anymore.

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**Leave a review! **

**For those asking for an Embry pov it is coming but I already had these planned out so it will be here at some point soon :D**

**Loving all the comments about Sam, I'm so torn on him, I think he's a bit of a dick yet I feel sorry for him so it's good to know my readers feel the same haha :D **

**If you have any ideas let me know them and Karu thank you for all your song suggestions as usual I will work them in if they fit at some point :D xxx**


	11. Chapter 11

**Basically, I'm late this weekend as I had a gorgeous little nephew! My sister went into premature labour and had a beautiful little boy who is just perfect and adorable but because he was early he had some difficulty and has been in ICU for a week now and so my time has been split between work, exams and visiting my little man in the hospital so I had very little time to write. My exams are now over and little Jay should be out of hospital this week if he starts feeding properly so my time will be free again to write, my updates will now become more frequent thank you for your patience recently. **

**Enjoy the chapter. **

**Embry's point of view as asked for :D**

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I couldn't sleep, for the life of me I couldn't sleep. My first night off in god knows how long and I couldn't sleep.

I tried not to, I tried fucking hard not too but I got myself caught up in listening to her breathing on the other side of the wall, it was surrounding me like a melody, it would have lulled me to sleep had my phone not began buzzing with texts from Sam telling me to go to his in the morning to fill him in on any information I had, I figured he was trying to order me over text but A he wasn't my alpha anymore and B he was being an absolute asshole to Leah so I sent back the simple word no, it took everything in my will power not to tell him to go fuck himself.

He had blamed it all on her, I didn't need to hear their conversation to know it, I could see it in her eyes as she ran back up the beach, feel it radiating from her body as we walked home and even heard it labouring her breaths as I listened to her sleep. She was filling every inch of me, she had been back only a couple days and I had found myself unable to work all day, my thoughts drifted to her no matter what I did. She was beautiful, much more so than before she left, her hair was long and wavy, her skin looked healthier and more radiant, and when she was here before she was always so stressed out and upset she just looked ill. Now she was perfect, the way her hips curved out was perfect, her long toned legs were perfectly shaped not to thin, not as muscular as they once were, just feminine and beautiful, and as for her lips, her damned lips.

I shook my head back against the pillow beneath me; I was acting like a horny 17 year old kid. I used to have a crush on her when I was younger, before I became a wolf she was the girl on my mind at night time or when I was in the shower, then when I became a wolf she still drove me crazy but the guys were constantly in my head, I think they knew I had a thing for her but she was bitter Leah, a bitch to everyone and her bad temper was enough to drive me away from my crush for a little while. But then I saw real Leah, how broken and alone she was and she caught me all over again and then just like that she was gone. And now she was back, fuck now she was back and she was better, she was this amazing woman who had gone through so much alone. Her strength just added to her beauty but was got me was that she didn't see herself as strong, I could see it in the way she handled herself she thought herself as weak but she was anything but, she was strong, brave, sexy.

Fuck. I have to stop. I can't lie here thinking about her, it will drive me fucking crazy.

I swung my legs out of my bed, the cold air trying to hit me but my warm skin beating it off. This house was always cold, it wasn't even the heating because I fixed that it was more because it was empty, not of people, there was always someone here, but empty of what a house needed to be a home. Love, family, all that sort of stuff that would make this place warmer had always been missing.

I went to grab my jumper but decided not to, I didn't need it, I wasn't cold and no one would see me in just my boxers nor did it matter if one of the guys did, it was my house.

I tip toed out of my room, glancing into the one Max was in as I walked down the stairs, his little body was sprawled out, his arms behind his head and one of his legs cocked up with his foot against the mattress, the kid was the best kid I had ever met. Even when he was asleep he looked like a cool little dude. I laughed as quietly as possible as I took in his chilled out position before carrying on down the stairs, even Max was catching a huge place in my heart, normally I don't do kids I am not a kid person but he was just irresistible.

I was so caught up in my quiet laughter over Max it took me a minute to register the scene before me as I walked into the kitchen. My eyes fell on the firmest toned legs I had ever seen, tanned and smooth covered in nothing, the curve of perky ass cheeks just peeking out from a pair of short pink pyjama shorts, no upper body could be seen, it was hid by the door to the freezer but I didn't need to see the body, it was Leah. Shit. So much for escaping my thoughts of her, she just filled them again with a whole lot of bare leg and ass.

What do I do? Do I leave? No it's my house and I want ice cream. Hang on, she's in the freezer, she's eating my ice cream.

"Are you going to make a habit of stealing my food at 3 in the morning?" It came out before I could stop it and as she had done the night before her body jerked in surprise and she smacked her head on the top shelf of the freezer before falling backwards against the wooden kitchen table clutching where she had just hit. "Sorry"

De ja vu or what? Now I felt bad, I should have gone straight back upstairs. But even as I was telling myself to leave and stop making this more awkward all I could do was stare at her, she had my jumper on like she had the night before, it just made her look even more beautiful to me. It drowned her upper body but she looked amazing in it and I liked her in it, my wolf like her in it, he began purring inside me, my chest clenched at the sight, the pleasure of seeing her in my clothes causing my heart to growl in a sort of possessive need to have her in my things all the time. I was going insane. She was just staring back at me awkwardly, ok I looked like a freak. I turned to leave but she called out stopping me.

"You don't have to, I mean it's your kitchen I was just being a pig" Her voice was quivering somewhat nervously and she stepped away from the fridge, her eyes looked everywhere but at me and the stupid feeling in my stomach sprang up again, like a million little butterflies flipping around excitedly, I was almost back to that teenage kid who got nervous around her. It was ridiculous, but I suppose she had been gone so long it was weird between us now.

I didn't have a reply so instead I just walked toward the freezer, noticing how she sprang back as I got closer to her, it was almost like close proximity would burn her or something. I could hear her heart beating, erratic beats that were going far too hard and fast than what they should be but I put it down to her still being flustered from her earlier fight with Sam. I reached in to the freezer and grabbed at the tub of Cookie Dough ice cream, I ate this stuff far too much and my freezer was always full of it. I could practically hear the slap of Leah's lips as I placed the tub onto the table but still she didn't move from her place against the counter. She hadn't been this awkward with me earlier; something had changed with her, she seemed off with me, or maybe nervous. I couldn't quite decipher it but there was something different in the air between us.

Her breath halted as did her heart beat as I got closer to her, her whole body practically sucked itself in as my hand reached out for the counter behind her and I realised it looked as if I were about to launch myself at her when all I meant to do was open the cutlery drawer that lay directly behind her ass. Crap. I looked like a freak and now a pervert. I tried snapping my hand back but it brushed against the thin material covering her upper leg and she leaped away from me again this time giving a slight yelp.

"I uhh just wanted to get a spoon"

My voice shook and the words came out too quickly for her to even really understand me, she nodded all the same but now placed herself up against the stove, I could see in her face she didn't want to be this close to me, she was uncomfortable and all though the air between us was awkward my body was on fire, my hand that had brushed her leg was scorching hot and I felt flustered like when I was kid and I was in a class with my crush. This was ridiculous; I was going crazy with her in this house. I was completely over my childhood liking for her, I had been with girls since my infatuation with her, I just well...damn she was just so good looking, so different to those other girls.

I shook myself again trying to regain my posture as I reached in and pulled out two spoons, she stared at me for a few seconds as I held one out to her but she finally took it and slowly followed me to the table. This was awkward, it was just fucking awkward. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes, we just took it in turns to take some ice cream and avoided eye contact while we ate. It got to the point where it was either say something or leave, I couldn't handle the tension that was undoubtly building and so opted for conversation even if it was forced.

"So we are going to make a habit out of this?" She just frowned at me not understanding what I was trying to say, in all fairness I could have said something better than that. "I mean me finding you stealing my ice cream at stupid hours of the night" I smiled to let her know I was joking and for a second it looked like she would smile back but she just sucked on her spoon and shrugged tiredly at me. My jumper slipped off her right shoulder as she shrugged bearing her tanned skin of her shoulder, she wasn't wearing a top underneath it, no strap lay there just bare skin, soft tanned skin. Fuck. She didn't even make an attempt to lift it back up she just left the jumper where it was, her skin teasing me in the way it shouldn't at the age of 22, this was getting stupid.

"I eat when I can't sleep, my hips hate me for it but my stomach never complains" Her voice was light again, her body seemed to deflate from its on edge tension and she gave me the smallest smirk before getting more ice cream.

Even as I tried not to my eyes travelled down her body that was exposed only a little bit against the round wooden table, I could see one bare leg and a tiny slit of hip where my huge jumper had ridden up her crouched body. She didn't have an ounce of fat on her, I mean she wasn't stick thin, she had curves but it was those curves that my mom always called 'child bearing hips' I never understood what she had meant until I saw Leah, she had a curve to her body that was a perfect width, especially for a baby to sit on. Fuck sake, I'm openly checking her out again. I snapped my eyes back to hers, her face was blushed even against the dark room I could see it perfectly. "You look perfect to me" Shit, I actually just said that.

She blushed all over again and this time my face followed suit and blushed a dark crimson, at least my cheeks were so hot by this point I was sure they were crimson. I turned into an ass around her, like earlier I lied about my car being at home when I followed her from the beach, I hadn't missed her look when she realised my car wasn't outside the house. I should have just told her I followed her to make sure she was ok, that way I wouldn't look like a lying idiot who had followed her to be a freak. The truth was it killed me seeing Sam make her so upset, I couldn't just let her leave, I had watched her march up the beach and thought she would be fine, then Sam started doing his usual refusal to be in the wrong and went on a rant about how she was selfish, then Rebecca started on him and then I saw Leah leave the car park on foot and I couldn't just stay there so I picked up Papa Wolf and left, I didn't even look back to see the reaction of my brothers at my sudden disappearance. In that moment she was the only person I cared about. I was such a soppy prick, downsides of being raised by such an emotional woman like my mother was that I cared too much for people's feelings, such a wimpy little bastard. I couldn't even just leave a girls bed after a one night stand, I wait until she wakes up so I can say bye so she doesn't feel like I didn't care about her.

"So umm you couldn't sleep?" She asked her nerves were back in her voice and she stared down into the ice cream tub that lay between us rather than into my eyes. No, I could sleep if your dickhead baby daddy didn't text me like a prick right when your sweet breaths were lulling me to sleep.

"Nope, and the sick part of it is that tonight's my night off so I should be up there loving every second of sleep I get" I chose not to tell her Sam text me; I figured that would lead to a conversation that wouldn't end well. And my inner wolf was growling even at the thought of Sam right now. Such a fucking douche sometimes, I get that it's not all his fault and he had no idea about Max but sometimes he deals with things in the wrong way, not to mention Emily. My wolf rumbled inside my chest, anger prickling down my spine, I couldn't think of Emily right now. The fact she kept it secret all these years and didn't even stand up for Leah tonight...Eurgh I can't deal with it. "You couldn't sleep either?"

"No, I can never sleep at home either; I get too cold and no amount of blankets help me"

My brain snapped as she said it, I was exactly the same, even with my temperature and two duvets on me when I was in bed or even just sat around the house I was cold. I didn't reply, we fell back into silence, not as awkward as before but still a little tense.

"Asshole" Leah suddenly exploded after a few minutes of silent eating and spoon sucking. My body jerked at her sudden outburst and she let out a snort of laughter as she realised she had scared me shitless. "Sorry, it's just he's a fucking asshole"

Sam. We had arrived at that conversation although I was happy it wasn't me who brought it up, this meant she wanted to talk about it. Do I say something? Do I let her have her outburst? What do I do? I can't just stare at her I'll look equally like an asshole.

"I mean how can he even try to pin it all on me, he knew what he did to me, I was 19 what was I supposed to do stick around and watch him fucking my cousin while I sat by myself with a baby who may I just say was a big fucking baby to carry around. I mean he looks small now but he came out like this" She made a big size with her two hands before shoving more ice cream into her mouth. I didn't even have a chance to reply to her she had just exploded into a new rant. "Sorry, you probably don't even care but sometimes it just gets too much yanno? If Rebecca had heard him she would have floored him, so ignorant"

It was my turn to let out a snort of laughter. She had no idea. "She was doing just that as I left, the girl was like a beast the way she was going at him"

She didn't even looked surprised at the information, she just nodded and smirked, a smirk which made my own one come up, her smile was contagious. And just like that it was gone, she said nothing else, her wall came back up and I could tell she wasn't letting anymore information out about how she felt. She had always been good at hiding things, I mean she was openly bitchy when she was here before but she had always been good and blocking herself off from people. It was a trait I hated about her because she was such an amazing person yet she blocked herself off from people and only let them see this tough side of her rather than the vulnerable beautiful side that I saw. Now I sounded soppy again. Fuck this girl was doing things to me.

"Do we know when the funeral is yet?" She asked, her voice back to its normal tone showing no sign of the emotion she had felt seconds before. She was still expert at hiding herself off.

"I think in about 9 days or something" I shrugged her question off trying not to show that inside I was screaming that I didn't want it to ever come because when it was over she would leave, and although I had spent little time with her I didn't want her to leave, I liked having her back. Our family felt complete with her back and in the couple days she had been here I had completely fallen for Max, he was the most adorable kid, I couldn't go back to being stuck with princess Claire who bossed me around and Flynn who never talked to anyone, he just clung onto my leg, he was boring.

"I think I'm having dairy overload" Leah breathed out and fell against the back of the chair, her hand came out to rub over her stomach.

"How are you full? I'm still going strong you wimp" I joked as she rolled her head to the side, her stomach was obviously bloated against my jumper, the sight of it was as funny as her expression.

"You're a 6 foot tall, huge beefy wolf, I don't have the pleasure of being able to eat stupid amounts of food anymore and not get full up" She started chuckling this time, the air around us lightened and her laughter seemed to echo through the house filling it with the sound I had always thought was missing, laughter and happiness, warmth. I felt warm, the first time in all the time I had lived here I wasn't cold as I sat here, I wasn't alone. I actually felt at home.

"You think I'm beefy, is that a compliment or are you comparing me to a cow?"

She giggled all over again and my body buzzed with warmth, I loved that sound. As stupid as I felt admitting it I liked her being here like this with me, it felt normal. Fuck, I was being a douche. It was Leah, Leah Clearwater, the girl who once bitched me out for simply eating her slice of toast. Fuck.

"If I remember right your wolf does have lovely little spots" She raised her eyebrow at me challengingly but her teasing went straight over my head, all I could focus on was that she remember what my wolf looked like. Ok now I really was being stupid, she probably remembered all the wolves.

"Now where did I put my bell?" I rubbed my chin and glanced around the kitchen, my joke was met with a new round of laughter from Leah and she made a soft moo noise. Damn she was so different to how she used to be.

Her giggles were interrupted by a long yawn and her head drooped to the side, she was getting tired. "Mmm it's warm in here, I'm sleepy"

It shouldn't be warm, the heating was off but sure enough the relaxing warmth that only happened in blanket covered beds hit me and I followed her yawn with my own. "Yeah, I should go to bed before I demolish the whole tub and get love handles on my beefy little hips" I winked at her as I stood up and watched as her cheeks turned red again. She smiled at me, her smile wide and shining against the dark room. She sure was cute.

"Goodnight Embry" She whispered and her chair screeched across the floor.

"Goodnight Leah Loo" I teased unable to stop myself and she shot me a stern look but she couldn't hold it and started chuckling.

"It doesn't sound as annoying on you as it does on Paul" She commented on her way out and waved a simple wave before rounding the doorway toward the stairs. Leah Loo, it always annoyed her when Paul said it but it sounded nice, Leah Loo.

Well Damn, Leah wasn't how she used to be, she was...so different, perfectly so. I was grinning to myself as I placed the ice cream back in the fridge, my smile widening every second I stayed in the kitchen, the warmth was fading but my mind wasn't paying attention I just smiled at the memory of her laughter. Fuck. I felt like an idiot letting myself get close to her when she would just leave again.

"SHIT" I yelled unable to stop myself as my eyes fell over a dark figure staring in through the window above the sink. My heart restarted at a hundred beats per second, my body actually shook from the fright I had got. Sam Uley was stood outside my window staring at me.

"Embry" Leah's soft whisper called down the stairs to me, my shout obviously audible upstairs. Sam shook his head at me hearing her as well and although I didn't want to obey him my curiosity as to why he was stalking my house at 3am got the better of me.

"Sorry, I dropped the ice cream on my foot" I called back up to her and she replied with an amused laugh before her bedroom door shut again. I kept my eyes on Sam and he nodded for me to go outside, again I didn't particularly want to but I did.

"What are you doing?" I hissed at him as I ran through the side door to where he was stood outside.

"Well apparently I'm watching you flirt with my ex girlfriend" He hissed back his own voice bitter and snappy.

Flirting? I wasn't flirting. "We were just talking Sam" What a douche.

"That's not how it looked to me, I saw you checking her out. You back off, she's off limits" He snapped at me again, his voice full of possessive ignorance.

"What are you her dad? Fuck Sam stop being such a dick, I was being friendly with the girl after you fucking upset her. What are you even doing here shouldn't you be at home cosying up to your wife not here stalking Leah?" This guy was playing on my anger now; he was such a freak sometimes.

"I was on patrol. I wasn't stalking her you wouldn't answer my text and now I know why. Just back off Embry, I want to sort shit out with her and I don't need some teenage horny crush scaring her off before I can sort it out with her" He sounded like he was trying to order me. He couldn't actually be trying to order me to stay away from the girl who was staying in my house? Nope he definitely was trying to order me. What a douche. "Don't try acting innocent, the look you had in your eyes just then will have her leaving here knocked up again" Right. He's a top class prick.

"If you want to sort it out with her it may help if you stop being such a prick about it, dude you're my pack brother and you've done a lot for me but your acting like a lunatic. You can't treat her like you did earlier then come around here watching her through the night and warn one of the people being nice to her away from her. We were just talking Sam, get off your high horse and get the fuck away from my house and stop texting me and just go have a long hard think about the way your acting toward her and that kid"

"You can't talk to me like that Embry you have no idea"

"Actually I can talk to you how ever the hell I want, you're not my alpha and right now you're not even my friend so do me a favour and stop making a fool out of yourself, just leave and come back at a reasonable hour. Bye Sam." I cut him off and walked back to the door to my house.

"Embry wait"

"Bye Sam" I called again before slamming the door shut behind me and locking it. I listened for a second making sure he was actually leaving before turning to walk up the stairs.

Off limits, who did he think he was? She could be with who she wanted to be with. Not that she would want to be with me. I wasn't even checking her out, was I? I don't think I was, she was practically naked though so no one could blame me if I was. And I wasn't flirting, I was being friendly.

I leapt onto my bed, Sam's words still ringing in my head. What a douche, who stalks my house in the middle of the night? Eurgh he was losing his mind.

Her breathing, it hit me loudly over my thoughts of him, she was asleep. Damn it, this was never going to end well, I could feel it, I could feel myself getting closer to her more protective over her every second. Damn Leah.

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**Don't let me fall will be updated tomorrow night. Thank you for your patience while I try to catch up. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry, I swear my week was hectic this week I had no time to write. I PROMISE my updates will be more regular from this point on. **

**Nowhere left to run will be updated tomorrow night. **

**Sorry for my confusion with certain words, if I confused anyone else with the word Jumper, I don't know how to describe what it is other than it's like a sweater I suppose, jacket? The item of clothing that would go over your tops etc? I didn't realise the word jumper was a British word sorry! As for my use of the word car park, I do use parking lot as well as I know it's the American term but sometimes being British certain phrases come out without me realising it hehe :D As for grammar ect I do proof read but sometimes things escape me! **

**Thank you for ALL your reviews and advice on my phrasing etc it does mean a lot and I take every comment on board :D **

**Enjoy!**

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"Momma" The little scream rang over the hot water pelting on me from my shower. I groaned because it was a daily occurrence that I couldn't even enjoy a shower to myself because Max from the young age of one had gotten into the habit of coming in and playing with his toys while I showered. He often screamed songs at the top of his lungs as well. "Momma" He yelled again and I gave up completely on trying to ignore him.

"Yes"

"Momma Embry said he's gonna take us to the beach, he said we can play football and he's making hot chocolate too" His happy chirping voice made my body freeze, Embry. He was at work. At least I swear I heard him leave for work this morning. "Momma he said you got to get ready in ten minutes otherwise we're gonna miss seeing the tide go out" I could hear a low voice mumbling on the other side of the door, Embry passing on information for Max to shout out. My stomach flipped at the thought of Embry being in such close proximity to my naked body. I put it down to the fact I didn't trust Max not to fling the door open and expose me more than the fact the general idea of Embry causing such a reaction. "Momma are you listening to me?" And with that the click of the door handle went as if he was pushing the door open.

"No don't open that dude" Embry's voice became louder and although he obviously attempted to stop my son there was no stopping a determined five year old and I heard his tiny pattering feet running across the room toward me.

"Max don't you dare. I heard you" I snapped and the pattering stopped only to be replaced by a giggle.

"Momma Embry's cheeks have gone bright red" He giggled again and I heard Embry groan. My stomach did a new flip, Embry blushing.

"Just get out Max" I called again ignoring the thoughts wanting to come out about Embry and him blushing. Although he could just be hot, I mean he was hot. No. Fuck sake. I was like a horny 45 year old woman. Except I wasn't horny, I was just prone to thinking Embry as hot. I mean, he was handsome, exceptionally so but that was no excuse to use the word 'hot'. Sure enough the door slammed shut and as I turned off the water I could hear Embry grilling Max on the other side about bro code and something about not telling a girl that someone's blushing.

I got ready in the allotted ten minutes although I had an impatient five year old banging on my door constantly. I put on a pair of black leggings, knee high black boots with a brown strip around the top and my Navy blue coat with the only scarf I owned which wasn't very thick or warm. It would have to do. I had no idea why we were going to the beach; it was a freezing cold day outside but Max was currently downstairs singing Nicky Minaj 'Lets go to the beach beach lets go get away'. He was a mini juke box.

"Let's have a race, whoever gets to the car first wins a cookie" Embry's voice hit me as I rounded on the last few stairs and I could see him and Max just outside the front door. They both began sprinting toward the car but Embry 'tripped' over the smallest twig on the floor and Max won. It was the worst fake fall I had ever seen but Embry pulled it off to a T and Max didn't seem to notice, he was too busy reaching into the picnic basket that lay beside the car and pulling out a cookie.

I walked out just as Embry was brushing off his hands and knees, I saw a slight red mark on his palm but it was fading pretty quickly. "Aww got a boo boo?" I smirked at him and stopped beside him, he glanced down at me offering his signature smile and held his hand out toward my face.

"Yeah kiss it better?" He spoke as if imitating a child, the breath caught for a second in my throat although I knew it was a joke. I couldn't understand the reactions in my body.

"You big baby" I pushed his hand away trying to regain myself and marched on toward the car, Max was happily sat in the back seat munching on the cookie that was near enough the size of his head while Embry loaded the back with the picnic basket and various other items that I couldn't quite make out.

"Max you need a jacket" I groaned realising he was dressed in shorts and a top as if we were back in Hawaii but as I went to get out Embry hopped in and shook his head.

"Got one in the back for him" He spoke lazily as if I should have realised he had not only got my son dressed and loaded into the car, sorted out a picnic and games and also got Max a jacket. "You ready?" He glanced at me quickly before back at the road and I sensed even in that small look that there was something else going on in his head, it was almost like he was too afraid to look at me for long. I just nodded at him not that he would have noticed because his eyes were peeled on the road ahead of us as he started the car up and swung out of the driveway that lay beside my house. No Embry's house. It was confusing because I didn't know how to refer to the house I grew up in and loved, I guess it wasn't really mine anymore yet it still sort of felt like home.

I realised we had been driving for around five minutes in dead silence and the realisation of it made me feel all that more awkward. I glanced over at Embry, he was sat back sort of lazily in his seat, one arm hanging onto the steering wheel while the other lay on the doorframe of his door. His arm muscles were bugling out of his shirt and I realised he was still in his work stuff, scruffy torn jeans and a tight grey top that had his business name and number embroidered onto it. He should be at work.

"How come you're not working?" I asked without warning that I was going to speak and he jumped in surprise at my voice. His head snapped to me and he stared at me for a second before lowering his eyes from mine and back to the road the same way he had done earlier, it was as if he was shy to be around me or something along those lines.

"I umm, I'm doing work up at Claire's house, on the Makah Res. But her moms sick so I got a few days off, she doesn't want me banging around the house while she's got a migraine and a screaming 8 year old on her case" He shrugged but smiled at the same time, either from happiness at getting the time off or fondness for the screaming 8 year old I guess I was Claire.

"I thought I heard you leave for work this morning" I stated, his cheeks seemed to darken although I wasn't sure if he was blushing or if the light inside the truck had dimmed.

"I needed to pick something up" His hand tightened on the steering wheel and without saying another word I realised he meant he needed to pick his car up. It hadn't been at the house last night because he walked home with me but here it was this morning.

"You didn't have plans today already did you?" Embry suddenly glanced at me nervously and I shook my head at him.

"Not unless sitting around watching my mom make out with Charlie can class as plans, no I didn't" The very thought of it made my stomach churn, I could see she was happy which was great because when I left she was in a depressed funk that I was worried she would never get out of but seeing her with my dads best friend was just..

"So wrong" Embry finished off my inner sentence and I nodded in agreement. "I mean I like Charlie and your mom has been good to me, but they do act like lovesick teenagers" He commented and although he smirked I could tell it made him as uncomfortable as it made me. Embry had always got on well with my father, his mom was friends with my family growing up and he would often go fishing with my dad and Billy Black. I think they did it to make up for the lack of father figure in his life.

"Yeah it's weird" I mumbled sounding a little sadder than I meant to and Embry once again turned to look at me.

"I guess it's weird for you. You weren't here to see how it all happened, Seth was a bit upset at first but he grew to the idea as their relationship grew. You don't like them together?"

I shook my head then cocked it to the side. I hadn't quite decided how I felt about it, it was wierd I would agree with that, and part of me felt like she was betraying dad but she looked happy so could I be mad when she looked so much better than she had done after dad died? "How did it happen?" I guess the story of what happened would help, at the minute I had a confusion of my own ideas that I didn't particularly want to think about.

"It was probably around a year or so after you left. Your mom was pretty torn up about your dad and then you leaving. Charlie helped her a lot, took her out fishing and took her mind off of all the problems. Then the packs split up and Seth joined Jake so she was alone all the time, she spent more time with Charlie and they started dating I suppose. She was real torn up about it at first, I would walk into Emily's or Billy's and hear her crying to one of the girls about how she felt she was betraying Harry, then Seth told her he wanted her to do what would make her happy and she stayed one night at Charlie's a week, then it just went up until she lived there I guess. It wasn't a quick process I promise you that" He stopped as we pulled up by the beach. I sat mulling over what he told me while he got Max out and the picnic basket. I guess that was better than I originally thought. I thought it was a case of dad died and in come Charlie but I guess she did think it through. I knew she still loved my dad, they had this connection that was unbelievable and no one would take that I was absolutely sure of it.

"Momma quick the tides going out" Max called out from outside the car and I scanned the beach, I could see the wet ripples of sand where the ocean water had washed away from, it glistened against the dim light peeping through the clouds. I gave him a quick smile before hopping out, even in a coat the air out here was so fresh and sharp I felt like I was stood naked in the Antarctic. "Momma can I run down there" He asked excitedly pointing down over the sand banks and steps leading onto the beach. I nodded at him and watched him sprint across the grass of the parking lot.

"I hope you don't mind that I told him we would come here, he looked a little bored at the house" Embry fell into a slow stroll beside me, his body heat seemed to radiate from him and in an instant the sharp shiver that had ran through me was calmed by a soft warmth. I liked that warmth. The only thing I missed about being a wolf, besides from being able to eat loads, was the warmth. I missed the heat and never getting cold. Since I stopped phasing I seemed cold all the time, even led out on the beach in summer never seemed to heat me properly.

"No not at all, I love this beach" I let it slip out before I could stop myself and Embry made a 'wooo' noise sarcastically before raising his eyebrows at me.

"Tell me I didn't just hear Leah Clearwater saying something positive about La Push, woo hoo hooo I need to document this" He sung too happily and despite myself I chuckled at the way he was making such a big deal out of it. I suppose I was pretty negative about La Push. I tried shrugging it off but he grinned at me again and I knew this would definitely be getting recorded one way or another. "What about those sandy blue watered beaches in Hawaii?"

"They don't do it for me. I mean, it's a beach so they do for a day in the sun and sea with Max but this one has charm, it's peaceful and shabby, it's not perfectly sandy and it has ugly big tree trunks placed randomly around it. But it is quite beautiful" I stopped myself suddenly feeling as if I was a walking advertisement for a retirement home or some, charm and beauty? I was so cheesy. I looked up at Embry expecting him to make a joke but he just smiled the most breathtaking slight smile and nodded.

"Quite beautiful" He spoke under his breath and turned to look back at the beach ahead of us as we reached the bottom step.

We walked in silence toward where Max was running around by the water, Embry dropped the picnic basket on the way and I stopped with it to unpack whatever was inside. I was starving. Embry kept going until he reached Max and I watched him pointing to certain areas around the beach, I knew what he was doing, it was what my father used to show me and Seth when we were kids, the points where you could see the tide drifting in and out, I followed Max's glance to where sure enough the water was seeping back and forth leaving more and more sand lay bare as it drifted outward.

I turned back to the basket and pulled out the bottle of orange juice, there was fruit and mini pastry's chocolate and raising ones, some muffins and a flask. He had bought breakfast. That was cute I suppose. I glanced at my watch, it was only 10am so technically still breakfast time.

"I didn't really know what to bring, too early for sandwiches and cereal on a beach seemed strange" Embry's shadow passed over my face before sand flicked into my lap from him launching himself next to me in the sand.

"No it's fine, did Max eat this morning?" I was so bad, I didn't even know if Max had eaten or when he actually woke up. Embry shook his head and as he did Max came bounding over and grabbed a chocolate pastry before running away again. "Well that's him sorted I guess" I had to chuckle, he was such a cute kid.

"I picked them up on the way back this morning, there's a new little cake shop near where my mom used to work. It's pretty good; the raisin ones are my favourite"

I scrunched my nose and shook my head at him. "Raisin's are the reason I have trust issues, they look like chocolate chips"

Embry let out a roar of laughter, I hadn't been expecting it and so I spilt the orange juice I was trying to pour into my plastic cup everywhere. "What?" He asked while trying to regain himself.

"They look like chocolate chips, I used to reach for chocolate cookies when I was a kid and bam it was raisins. Little bastards. Ruined my childhood." I explained, I had thought every kid went through that but from Embry's laughter I guess not. I started chuckling with him as I realised how sad I sounded when I had spoken, I actually sounded like a kid whose toys had been stolen by the big bad bully. I felt strongly about my hatred for raisins.

"Ok ok here you have the chocolate one" Embry finally calmed down and passed me the chocolate one while he took the raisin. I could see him eyeing up the chocolate one as I picked a bit off to eat but he bit into the raisin one anyway.

We ate in silence just watching as Max dropped his breakfast in the sand and picked it back up to eat it about five times, each time he made grossed out faces as he ate the sand covered food but he still ate it.

"He was doing that last night, he kept dropping the burger I gave him then didn't understand why it tasted sandy" Embry commented as we watched Max do it yet again, I frowned at him not remembering Max even eating a burger last night but then I realised the food was being served at the exact time I went running off after Sam. My stomach twisted in a painful knot at the thought. I had kept it from my head quite successfully since waking up but here it was. I remembered the words he spoke and the way he looked so upset and hurt. Eurgh it was awful and what was worse was that I had no idea where to go from here with him. I know Sam, I know the type of person he is and he's not a mean one. He's a mature person who in all fairness to him would make a great father, but last night he was anything but that person. I made him snap I guess.

"It will be ok Leah, give it time and it'll work out" Embry added when I said nothing, how he knew what I was thinking about I didn't know but I was glad he approached the subject first.

"I don't have time for it to just work out. I don't want to go back to Hawaii knowing how much shit I've caused." I moaned and brought my knees up to my chin so I could rest my head.

"You haven't caused any shit Leah; you know Sam didn't mean what he said."

"Didn't he?" I raised my eyebrows at Embry, Sam meant what he said, and he meant it when he called me selfish because I had been, I had been a bitch and he meant every word.

"Maybe but its Sam, he says stuff in the moment then regrets it. My bet is that he got angry and said stuff then went home freaked out and tried finding a way to make it up to you" His eyes flashed with something, almost like he knew something I didn't about Sam last night. Weird. "You and Sam, you seem to be able to make each other snap. Sam's not a nasty person Leah, he just snapped last night"

I nodded knowing he was right, I would probably act the same way if my ex popped up with a secret kid that turned out to be mine. Sam was a good guy and I didn't help the situation what so ever. Since we broke up all those years ago we just seem to make each other turn into these nasty people. It happened from the minute we got into the tear filled argument that ended it, I just became a bitch to him and he became an ass to me.

"And I'm not trying to just stick up for Sam here because he pissed me off last night and I would have quite happily beat his ass. He will realise sooner or later than you did what you did because you needed to, we could all see you weren't happy being here Leah, you needed to go away and work on yourself" He carried on and his words once again hit the nail on the head and made my heart clench in a feeling I had never really experienced. I felt like he understood me, he wasn't just saying it to be friendly it was like he knew me and was at ease saying these things to me.

"So what am I supposed to do now?" I groaned and looked out over the beach, Max was running after the drifting out tide and jumping in and out of the left over pools of water, his shorts were soaking wet.

"I have no idea. What do you want to do? I mean, do you want to work it out with him?"

I turned to look at Embry, he wasn't looking at me but to Max, as if on cue he too turned and stared right at me, his eyes so caring and soft. He was a good guy, he cared for people when he really didn't need to. "Is there any point? I don't plan on being here long" I hadn't thought about it really. I mean I didn't want to spend the time I had here fighting with him but I didn't know what else would happen.

"No but do you want him to be something to Max?" He tried keeping himself normal but as he replied there seemed to be something else there, something bothering him and for a second part of me thought he was going to say something about me staying here for longer but he didn't.

Did I? I hadn't thought of that. I thought they would get to know each other and maybe Max would learn that Sam was his father but I hadn't thought what would actually happen. "Max always asks about his dad, I guess when I came here I thought they would get to know one another but I never really thought about how it would happen or what would happen. How do I get Max to like Sam or feel comfortable around him?" Why was I being so open about this, especially with Embry? I barely knew the guy. I never spoke openly about my inner issues like this.

"I have no idea when it comes to kids I just smile, give them food and play with their toys. But I'm going to guess you just let him get to know Sam, don't force it?" Brilliant. This guy was like an agony aunt, he knew the right answer to whatever I asked him. That was a brilliant idea.

I was about to reply but as I opened my mouth Max's little voice yelled to me and I looked up to see him fully drenched and picking himself up from the water. "I swear he always does that when he's fully clothed" I sighed and picked myself up from the sand, Embry copied me and we both made our way down to the water's edge where Max began kicking water at us getting my boots and jeans soaking. I jumped back away from the water whereas Embry began kicking water back at Max who giggled wildly at the fact he was being played with. I laughed at the playfulness between them but my laughter quickly stopped as Embry turned around and grabbed me lifting me up over his shoulder and bounded toward where Max was kicking water and my open mouth got filled with freezing cold salt water.

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...

"I can't believe you dunked me" Embry laughed as we pulled up at the house, it was late afternoon, we had spent all day at the beach getting soaking, drying off then getting soaked again. I had successfully managed to trip Embry over and get him drenched after his little game of picking me up and having Max kick water at my face.

"Don't judge me by my size, I hold a harsh kick" I giggled harder and Max joined in as Embry leaned in and threw him over his shoulder.

"Yeah ok pipe down short ass" Embry pushed my arm playfully but his strength was ten times mine and I went stumbling into the big bin beside the truck. I had a sneaky suspicion he let me dunk him earlier but I hadn't said a word.

"Ok fatty, those love handles are getting big aren't they" I joked back and we both fell into laughter the same sound that had surrounded us all day. It was nice being so care free and happy for a change, especially since being here it was the first time I had actually enjoyed myself. Embry was just this beam of calm and happiness.

"Sam" Embry's laughter stopped and his voice dropped its playful tone for a serious and slightly shocked one. It took a second for the name to register but when it did my heart dropped and the warmth of my still damp body fell away leaving me stood freezing cold and staring at Sam.

"Leah, can we talk?" Sam spoke although his teeth were clenched as if annoyed by my arrival here with Embry he tried to smile at me, it was more of a grimace though. Embry turned to look at me for my reaction and I couldn't really give him one. Did I want to talk? No, I wanted to run and hide but my eyes fell on the little boy now staring intently at Sam and I knew I had to sort this out or at least try to and so I gave Emrby a quick nod.

"I'll go get dinner started and get Max changed" Embry spoke directly to me in a low tone as if trying to not let Sam hear but he did because his body went rigid and I swear this throat gave a rumbling growl. "I'll be just inside" Embry offered again and gave my arm a quick swipe, which was all it took for my warmth to return. Embry's temperature was high, I put my warmth down to that. He walked inside leaving the door slightly ajar and I moved myself slightly closer to Sam.

"Hi" I squeaked, I felt nervous, all the happiness I felt only minutes before was gone replaced by anticipation and nerves.

"Hey" He seemed as awkward as I felt, his body still tense and his teeth clenched. He was really not the usual calm and in control Sam, I guess Embry was right, I make him snap. "I wanted to let you know that I was sorry for what I said to you last night. It was inappropriate and I should have saved the conversation for a private place" It almost seemed rehearsed, I could imagine Emily sitting him down and forcing him to learn it word for word before he came out but I said nothing, just let him have his say. "I still don't really understand or agree with you leaving like you did"

"Sam"

"Wait, let me finish" He cut across me as my defence came up ready to yell at him and for some reason I listened. "I don't understand it but I'm willing to try. If you feel comfortable with it then I would like to get to know Max and hopefully fix things with us, I would be willing to try to understand what happened back then, if you're willing to let me spend time with Max"

"Of course you can" I replied without needing to think about it, if he had asked me this morning I probably said no but for some reason the talk I had with Embry sort of made me feel better about the situation and I realised now that I needed to let Max and Sam have the chance to at least get to know each other.

"Really?" He seemed shocked by my answer and for a second I felt a little put off that he would think me such a bitch that I would actually tell him he couldn't even see Max.

"Yes, ask me a couple of hours ago and I would have said no but someone made me realise some things. I only have one request" He nodded at me and waited for me to go on. "I would rather he didn't know you are his dad until he gets to know you, he's a little scared of you at the moment and I don't want to overwhelm him, so would you mind just spending some time with him first?"

He seemed to stop at this, it was taking him a little while to get his answer together and for a second I thought he was going to say no but then he nodded. This was progress, we weren't fighting, we were actually talking and not wanting to kill one another. "Of course" That was good. We were getting somewhere. I could see it was taking him a lot to keep his cool with me but he was doing it so that was good.

"Ok" This was getting slightly awkward, what do I say?

"Umm Leah, is there anything going on with you and Embry?" Sam suddenly asked as he hovered around in front of me and the unusual calm that had been over me seconds before vanished and my need to slap him came bubbling to the surface again. What an asshole. I had been back not even a week and he was accusing me of some love affair with Embry?

"Now that's going too far. Not that it's any of your business but no Sam, believe it or not I'm here for a funeral not to fall under the spell of a 6 foot something wolf. Jesus Christ." I held in the actual rant I wanted to give him opting to keep as calm as possible instead but my defence was up and I wanted to slap him a hundred times and scream at the top of my lungs that Embry was just being a friend.

"Ok, sorry. I'll umm see you around" And with that he ran off. What was that even about? Why would he ask that? Did it look like I was into Embry because I wasn't. I so 100 percent was not into Embry.

I pushed myself into the house, the heating was on and I felt slightly warmer but my skin and clothes were still damp and cold. I glanced into the living room to see Max semi naked in only a pair of pyjama bottoms, asleep on the sofa. He had a long day.

I turned following the smell off food into the kitchen and as I walked through the door I was met with a sight that made my heart completely stop. Embry was like Max semi dressed, I had seen him topless before but he was bent over the stove stirring something in the pot. On the table lay two plates and two glasses. He had actually made dinner. My heart began racing again and I felt my cheeks flush furiously with colour. Embry, he had such an effect on me it was getting dangerous. Suddenly the defence I put up with Sam seconds before seemed feeble. Eurgh, maybe I shouldn't have stayed with Embry.

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